Spending time with parents, our sons and a nephew who is on the verge of turning 3 has given me much opportunity to reflect on the passage of time. It seems just recently that our own son, who will be 18 soon after the nephew turns 3, was a toddler on the verge of entering kindergarten. Our oldest son will be 21 three weeks after he graduates with his second degree. And my parents celebrate their 50th Anniversary in a few months. But I'm still barely pushing... 49?! When did that happen?
This month I have a not so nifty fashion accessory called a Holter monitor to examine ventricular palpitations. These have been occurring so long that I have lived with and grown used to them for most of my life. It's a two part system with a dedicated cell phone that transmits readings to a monitoring center periodically through the day and night. And I get to wear three adhesive snaps across my chest to attach the sensors. Wired for sound, as many of my family have joked. Flashing lights tend to kill romantic notions, just as an aside, so I don't know if "extracurricular activity" makes the bells and whistles go off yet. Will need to watch a Johnny Depp or Hugh Jackman movie to gauge that one.
Funny that the closer you get to 50, the things that have always been mild annoyances suddenly become "we better get that checked out" issues. It's enough to make one want to vacillate towards the extremes of everyone is going to die of something, I'll take my chances and have another cocktail or make mine a double wheat grass and kale smoothie. That which doesn't kill us, makes us stronger. Not sure which option I'm referring to here, but that could be a whole 'nother story.
Having spent extensive time with this monitoring situation has given me the opportunity to realize that my current level of commitment to diet and exercise needs a reboot. Before my cardiac system needs defibrillation and an enforced diabetes and heart condition sensitive diet. There is a saying that if you eat and are as active as a healthy 80 year old heart patient with diabetes, you will most likely never be one. There may be some sense to that, to which my old pals Wit-sardonic sarcasm and Wiz-realistic logic have a great deal of opinion.
WIT: Did you hear that? Here we go again on another health kick. If I see kale, I am alerting the stomach that we need to mutiny that business.
WIZ: Now, there is some sense to this thinking. Remember how good we feel when we are fueled with wholesome and natural food? Garbage in, garbage out.
WIT: You can have all the natural food you see fit to eat. I never met a carb or preservative I didn't like. WHOA! Did you see THAT? NO ALCOHOL for the first two weeks??!! We cannot survive that option. Hecks to the NO on that one.
WIZ: It's two weeks. We obey a two drink maximum most of the time anyway. It only bothers you because it's being restricted.
WIT: You bet it is. You can also bet that work won't be any piece of cake during those two weeks and speaking of cake, don't we have an office birthday in that time? I am not skipping a serving of cake for any reason.
WIZ: No one's saying you can't have it ever again. Just letting your system get used to using its stored fat instead of providing a constant supply. And wouldn't it be nice to go back to the pool again? We feel so much better when we've had some float time and when our core is engaged.
WIT: The prep to go back to the pool is going to require some serious leg hair shaving time. It's been a VERY LONG winter. And we're going to squish into a swimsuit on a weekly basis? RIGHT. How long is that going to last?
WIZ: Do we have to duct tape you to go along with this plan? It CAN be arranged. I'm on board and looking forward to the raspberries on the treat list there. See them on the treat list there?
WIT: If it's raspberries you want - bbbhhhttthh! There. Bronx cheer to you, chickie. I give it a week.
You see what I have to deal with on a regular basis? No wonder I need naturopathic supplements for mind chatter. I may have the tenacity to commit to new and healthier options, but contending with these two while making choices, can be enough to drive you to drink. We'll see how the plan goes. We're launching Monday on an effort to rebalance natural insulin levels and function out of our fat stores. I'm hoping it does not require living like a camel and chewing and redigesting food multiple times. Wit and Wiz will have much to debate in the coming weeks and I'm sure there will be plenty of food for though. Bon appetit - will report on the progress in coming weeks.
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