Fashion Necessity or Frivolity - You Make The Call!

During my recent career search, finding myself with time to burn between application responses, I decided to go through all of my work clothing and pare down the stock. 
 The former job at a funeral home required dressy business attire in muted colors – so my palette was a vast array of navy, brown, gray and black.  I had no idea just how much black until I actually took stock.  Five black jackets – varying styles, of course. Three suits in varying muted tones. Three navy jackets - well-made in classic styles. Seven pairs of gray pants; four pairs of brown; five pairs of navy. Nine (9?!) pairs of black dress slacks – several lengths for shoe choices. You get some idea of the magnitude of this undertaking (cemetery joke)…  Just how many pairs of black pants are necessary and at what point does it become frivolous?
 At this point, Mr. M walks in to witness the carnage that has occurred since I have now piled the detritus from my closet onto the bed.  “Does someone maybe have a shopping addiction we should address?”  He received a stony glare and quickly backed out of the room. The man has survived over 25 years with me, so he knows when to stop talking and leave the room.  Flag is thrown on offensive play and time out called.
Next plan of action was to sort by size and try on each item to determine if they go in the keep/toss or “Will ever be able to wear this again?” piles.  The one thing I didn’t realize about working full time at a funeral home is that A) it was a 90% sit down job, and B) that all leftover cakes, cookies and unhealthy snacks from receptions would unfailingly wind up in our employee lounge where they would be consumed by the staff. THUS, the size of my wardrobe when I started the job was soon replaced by larger sizes.   And then, again, six months later… one job hazard I had not considered.
 About halfway through the piles after I have determined that more than half of the stock is in the TOSS pile, and getting a little disgruntled.  
 Mr. M. returns and I ask him, “How many pairs of black pants do YOU have?”  He replies, “Two. One pair of Dockers and one pair of dress pants.  Also the same of gray, khaki and navy.”  Bear in mind, this man dresses up only when a death has occurred, he’s being dragged to a wedding or when prime rib is being served, especially when it is paid for by someone else – see wedding above.  I see the necessity of a new game plan.
 His preferred attire at home is a terrycloth sarong during the summer with a tank top that has seen many decades.  During the winter, he adjusts to any number of free t-shirts from gardening volunteer organizations with Dockers deemed only fit for yard work – probably dating from the early 1990 era.  His work clothing is Dockers and button down shirts organized by day of the week.  Any wonder he was a fan of Garanimals as a youngster? His power suit is a black button down and black Dockers – good enough for Johnny Cash; good enough for Mr. M.  As an IT guy, all is interchangeable based on binary code, right?  Whole nother story there.
 Back to my process of elimination.  I decide to adopt the Mr. Meeker dress code and retain only two of each pant color that currently FITS and goes with at least two shoe options.  My closet begins to look far more open and organized.  Meaning of course that I have room to acquire more!  However, maybe that should hold off until gainful employment occurs.  HOLDING!
 A week later, we are getting ready to go to an event.  He has changed into a clean shirt and the standard Dockers.  I’m looking for the black pants that look great with black strappy Ann Klein sandals and can’t locate them in my new organizational system.  I then realize that I have no pants remaining that accommodate these GREAT shoes.  And have to improvise with a skirt…  which requires finding pantyhose…  which requires a quick leg shave…  which requires finding BandAids… which results in leaving fifteen minutes later - delay of game.  
 Guys have no clue what an effort it takes to be a woman and get ready to leave the house in something other than yoga pants, pony tail and sweatshirt.  There are weather considerations, outerwear and coordinating footwear combinations, activity level considerations.  There is as much strategy to dressing for an evening out as there is for the play book of a championship game.  Guys can throw themselves together in ten minutes.  If the shirt is dirty, wear a jacket.  If the pants are tight, untuck the shirt.  In my next life I want to be a guy, but with better shoes and more wardrobe options.
 Bringing us back to the original issue of how much of one thing is truly necessary?  Don’t even get me started on shoes.  Everyone knows that a woman needs a MINIMUM of six pairs of black shoes. Sacked at the opponent's 10 yard line for hesitation.