At our church, there is a longtime tradition of joining hands and singing the "Lord's Prayer - Our Father." When I attend the early Rite I and more traditional service, the service does not embrace this tradition. And I really miss it. In a world where we are divided by so many factors, the opportunity to join hands, hearts and voices in prayer is rare and precious.
For many of our elderly members who live alone, this is a rare and blessed opportunity to touch and be touched. There are a countless physical, emotional and neurological benefits of human touch. As we age and live increasingly solitary lives, our human need for contact is often suppressed and ignored.
The release of oxytocin is released as the cuddle hormone and the stress hormone cortisol is reduced as well as blood pressure and slowing the heart rate.
Friday, December 27, 2019
Monday, December 9, 2019
Why Help Someone Who is not Family
For the last month I have been very involved in the life of an 87yo friend. She has needed greater help to stay in her home and transition at a rate that is comfortable to her to assisted living. Her sons are out of state and rarely contact her but by phone/email. In late November, she fell in her home and ended up in the ER. She did not have a stroke. She was found to be in relatively good health, but no longer safe to live on her own. I jumped in with both feet to make sure she was not alone in navigating this process and sometimes have doubted my decision to do so. She needs a local advocate, a pal, a visitor to keep her connected with the outside world. We all do. Several people have asked me why I'm doing this for Lucy and why I don't just drop the situation and let her kids handle it. In short, they won't, they can't, they still think she should be able to handle it all despite the evidence to the contrary. They haven't for the last 10 years I've known her and won't expand their level of involvement even when it's warranted. This makes me sad, because Lucy can't be the only senior with this experience. She's just the one with whom I have connected. Why? She has all but served as my surrogate grandmother for the entire time I have known her. She raised 2 sons (the same age difference as mine) and managed subsidized senior housing to augment her social security income. She cared for folks who lived in her buildings in Montana when their families left them alone. When they had no families. When they had no one but themselves to rely on.
The first time I worked with Lucy we were assigned to facilitate a taco bar for a Junior Youth Conference at our church. At that time, she was in her mid 70s and hadn't cooked for a group in some time, and never tacos. Since I was elbow deep in Cub Scouts at the time, we joined forces in the experience in feeding youth and set out with a plan. We made a grocery list, filled the trunk and back seat of her convertible (yes, I see the irony there) with food stuffs, assembled the ingredients, enlisted folks to help cook, and produced 15 LBS of taco meat. Yes, 15 lbs. Because we were feeding 50 middle schoolers and that's what the recipe said we needed. We had shredded lettuce, cheddar cheese, taco meat and salsa from hell to breakfast in that tiny church kitchen. We dirtied EVERY bowl, container and set of tongs. She was sure we needed 25 taco shells. I insisted we would need only taco chips and soft tortillas. Lucy also bought 2 dozen taco shells. When we ran out of tortillas and chips, she took her 25 taco shells in the back and "found" two extra bags of chips... she broke up the taco shells and put them in two bowls. Lucy is an out of the box thinker like that. When all was said and done, we had one ziploc bag of taco meat left over and my family grew quickly tired of taco salad, nachos and the like.
When I was diagnosed with colon cancer, there were several weeks before we could determine a treatment plan and I just had to sit and wait for test results to come back. We escaped to the Quinalt Lodge at Ocean Shores for the weekend. We walked the beach, played slots in the casino, had massages, ate and drank well and thoroughly escaped the impending doom of what was to come for a day or two. It was just what I needed at the time. After my surgery, when I was recovering and bored out of my mind, she'd come kick off her shoes and sit on my bed and chatter about everything and nothing. She brought me a stuffed dog that one of my sons kept at his side the entire time I was at the hospital, and Dan has in his room to this day. After all was said and done and I was completely cured of the cancer due to the surgery and the fact that it was first stage, she told me her mother had died of colon cancer and she wanted me to have some time free of worry just in case I followed the dismal road as her mother. She waited to tell me this until I was free and clear - she held the thought that I may die like she watched her mother die and kept that from me. That is a gift, to protect others from what you fear most. That is what a surrogate grandma does.
Lucy and I have had many adventures over the years. We attended the Nutcracker and more movies than I can count. Some were memorable - Spectre - the latest James Bond, and some forgettable - the Tree of Life - huh? Some in the theater and some at home. She was concerned that since I couldn't have popcorn since colon surgery, her large buttery bowl would annoy me. I made up for it by having caramel milk duds, something she can't have due to dental work. We found ways to adapt to each other's idiosyncrasies. We are Thelma and Louise, we are Lucy and Ethel, we are Lucy and Mimi and we get each other. If we are together more than 10 minutes, giggles ensue. We get each other. More lunches and dinners and birthdays than I can fathom. She has often joined my family at holiday dinners not as an outsider but as an extension of my family. I now know her birth date and SSN better than my own. She has watched my sons grow up and hears the stories of their trials and tribulations with as much eagerness as if they were her own grandchildren. She reinforces that I was and am a good mom and I trust her judgment.
The Lucy I knew was an out of the box thinker. The Lucy we have now is definitely in the box thinker and sometimes cannot see what all is in the box due to vascular dementia and cognitive issues due to age and blood flow to the brain. Lucy now is vulnerable to a world where she could be taken advantage of and exploited as the elderly often are in our society. I fear what could happen if I abandon Lucy and let the world take care of her. The world won't take the same quality of care for her that I do. The world won't make sure she has her favorite shampoo, her Bose radio set to classical and her TV set to Judge Judy daily at 3pm. These things bring her stability now and make her feel at home wherever she is - hospital, nursing home or assisted living apartment. The world won't make sure her lifetime of things in her condo are dispersed to sources that are of importance to her - to Habitat for Humanity and Salvation Army and such. The world will let her disappear to oblivion, The world won't hold her favorite outfit and jewelry from the past in a drawer in my home and bring it out for her memorial service, but I will. Because I have known the gift of her friendship, her gift of presence and it will be my final gift to her.
The first time I worked with Lucy we were assigned to facilitate a taco bar for a Junior Youth Conference at our church. At that time, she was in her mid 70s and hadn't cooked for a group in some time, and never tacos. Since I was elbow deep in Cub Scouts at the time, we joined forces in the experience in feeding youth and set out with a plan. We made a grocery list, filled the trunk and back seat of her convertible (yes, I see the irony there) with food stuffs, assembled the ingredients, enlisted folks to help cook, and produced 15 LBS of taco meat. Yes, 15 lbs. Because we were feeding 50 middle schoolers and that's what the recipe said we needed. We had shredded lettuce, cheddar cheese, taco meat and salsa from hell to breakfast in that tiny church kitchen. We dirtied EVERY bowl, container and set of tongs. She was sure we needed 25 taco shells. I insisted we would need only taco chips and soft tortillas. Lucy also bought 2 dozen taco shells. When we ran out of tortillas and chips, she took her 25 taco shells in the back and "found" two extra bags of chips... she broke up the taco shells and put them in two bowls. Lucy is an out of the box thinker like that. When all was said and done, we had one ziploc bag of taco meat left over and my family grew quickly tired of taco salad, nachos and the like.
When I was diagnosed with colon cancer, there were several weeks before we could determine a treatment plan and I just had to sit and wait for test results to come back. We escaped to the Quinalt Lodge at Ocean Shores for the weekend. We walked the beach, played slots in the casino, had massages, ate and drank well and thoroughly escaped the impending doom of what was to come for a day or two. It was just what I needed at the time. After my surgery, when I was recovering and bored out of my mind, she'd come kick off her shoes and sit on my bed and chatter about everything and nothing. She brought me a stuffed dog that one of my sons kept at his side the entire time I was at the hospital, and Dan has in his room to this day. After all was said and done and I was completely cured of the cancer due to the surgery and the fact that it was first stage, she told me her mother had died of colon cancer and she wanted me to have some time free of worry just in case I followed the dismal road as her mother. She waited to tell me this until I was free and clear - she held the thought that I may die like she watched her mother die and kept that from me. That is a gift, to protect others from what you fear most. That is what a surrogate grandma does.
Lucy and I have had many adventures over the years. We attended the Nutcracker and more movies than I can count. Some were memorable - Spectre - the latest James Bond, and some forgettable - the Tree of Life - huh? Some in the theater and some at home. She was concerned that since I couldn't have popcorn since colon surgery, her large buttery bowl would annoy me. I made up for it by having caramel milk duds, something she can't have due to dental work. We found ways to adapt to each other's idiosyncrasies. We are Thelma and Louise, we are Lucy and Ethel, we are Lucy and Mimi and we get each other. If we are together more than 10 minutes, giggles ensue. We get each other. More lunches and dinners and birthdays than I can fathom. She has often joined my family at holiday dinners not as an outsider but as an extension of my family. I now know her birth date and SSN better than my own. She has watched my sons grow up and hears the stories of their trials and tribulations with as much eagerness as if they were her own grandchildren. She reinforces that I was and am a good mom and I trust her judgment.
The Lucy I knew was an out of the box thinker. The Lucy we have now is definitely in the box thinker and sometimes cannot see what all is in the box due to vascular dementia and cognitive issues due to age and blood flow to the brain. Lucy now is vulnerable to a world where she could be taken advantage of and exploited as the elderly often are in our society. I fear what could happen if I abandon Lucy and let the world take care of her. The world won't take the same quality of care for her that I do. The world won't make sure she has her favorite shampoo, her Bose radio set to classical and her TV set to Judge Judy daily at 3pm. These things bring her stability now and make her feel at home wherever she is - hospital, nursing home or assisted living apartment. The world won't make sure her lifetime of things in her condo are dispersed to sources that are of importance to her - to Habitat for Humanity and Salvation Army and such. The world will let her disappear to oblivion, The world won't hold her favorite outfit and jewelry from the past in a drawer in my home and bring it out for her memorial service, but I will. Because I have known the gift of her friendship, her gift of presence and it will be my final gift to her.
Wednesday, November 13, 2019
Rehoming is chaos put into perspective
For the last 2 weeks, we've been moving. For the second time in less than 11 months. And it is in every way a beast, a burden, and a luxury. Moving is to take all of your worldly belongings, plop them on a floor in a new to you home and try for the next several weeks to be functional while living out of boxes and finding places for the things that you have so lovingly hauled. The term downsizing doesn't apply to us in this instance. What we have done technically is upside-down sized. We sold our family home that was too big, moved to a condo with more stairs than storage and then found a just right house with 2000sf and no stairs and lake views that will engage us for years in wasting time staring at the waterfowl and changing colors of the landscape, sky and lake.
The whole time I've been moving, cleaning the old place, pulling items from storage I haven't seen in a year to reconsider if they have a place in our life as it is now, I've had strange thoughts. What if I had to pull together only what would fit in a backpack, grocery cart or what I could carry on my person to live day to day?
What would I take if I were homeless?
What are the things that would do dual duty and be worth their weight?
What would change about my priorities?
What would it feel like to be more minimalist and let some of the things go that I feel overwhelmed finding a Place for here?
The whole time I've been moving, cleaning the old place, pulling items from storage I haven't seen in a year to reconsider if they have a place in our life as it is now, I've had strange thoughts. What if I had to pull together only what would fit in a backpack, grocery cart or what I could carry on my person to live day to day?
What would I take if I were homeless?
What are the things that would do dual duty and be worth their weight?
What would change about my priorities?
What would it feel like to be more minimalist and let some of the things go that I feel overwhelmed finding a Place for here?
Monday, October 14, 2019
Living Our Authentic Selves
As a school age child, I knew I was different. I used tools with the “wrong hand,” was called
sinister, lefty and special by teachers and other students. Some in authority even tried to force
me to use my right hand instead. One teacher would switch my pencil to my right hand when
she walked by my desk. I learned to never write until her back was to me and relied on other
students to distract her attention to finish my work. Or I would hold a pencil upright in my right
hand and put a second one up my sleeve of my left hand to complete work. There were two of
us who were lefties and we had one left handed desk that had been retrofitted for an older
student. Could another be crafted for our mutual comfort? No, that would be wasteful, we were told. It wouldn’t serve the best needs of the greatest number of students. It would be special treatment for just a few people. It was often frustrating when we did art. The left handed scissors were dull and I found that the right handed scissors were fine, if held upside down. I made do with the resources available, but was not given any tools to assist in my adjustment. I eventually became ambidextrous in several tasks just to make fewer issues and draw less attention to myself. I knew that to try to become a full righty was just not in my makeup. In order to engage my brain, skills, and neuro transmitters correctly, I had to use my left hand.
It wasn’t a choice, or something I was exploring to see how it fit. It was how my brain and neurons
were wired. I could no sooner change the hand I utilized in writing than I could change my skin tone,
or eye color. It was a distinct part of my being and identity. I identify as a left handed person and no
amount of rules, restriction, bullying or descrimination was going to change that. My family didn’t see
a need to advocate on my behalf. It was just something we had to get used to and deal with as subtly
as possible to not make waves.
were wired. I could no sooner change the hand I utilized in writing than I could change my skin tone,
or eye color. It was a distinct part of my being and identity. I identify as a left handed person and no
amount of rules, restriction, bullying or descrimination was going to change that. My family didn’t see
a need to advocate on my behalf. It was just something we had to get used to and deal with as subtly
as possible to not make waves.
I’m talking about being left-handed in the 1970s in a private school. Insert trans-gender for left-handed to see what this is like for people who identify as other than the sex their biology appears to determine. Read this as someone forced to appear, dress and act as something different than their true self. Read this as someone literally dying to live as their true indentity against all costs, because the frustration of being forced to live against the grain often results in suicide attempts by transgender youth. Ostracism by family, bullying by peers, a lack of understanding and feeling it's a phase or social experimentation are some of the many forces working against transgender youth. Then society as a whole attempts to deny their right to access a bathroom. Would you want your child or yourself to be subject to that kind of hatred and ignorance?
In the 1990s, I worked in a building that had security-coded single-use bathrooms. One of the other employees in the building was living her true self as a female to satisfy conditions put in place by the medical field to validate hormone pills, injections and other steps that would complete her transformation from male to female appearance. The uproar from other colleagues it caused JUST to give her the CODE for the women's rest room was insane. Wasn't this person going through enough? Who would put on pantyhose and control garments if they weren't FULLY committed? Apparently, we haven't progressed as much as I had hoped.
A small group of people at our church gathered and engaged in discussion after watching together
The Most Dangerous Year
https://www.amazon.com/Most-Dangerous-Year-Annabelle-Knowlton/dp/B07SCKSGX4/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=the+most+dangerous+year&qid=1571099632&sr=8-1
A movie documenting the path of families supporting transgender school age children. It is
available for about $4 from Amazon Prime and is well worth the cost and time to view the movie.
Among these were 90yo grandparents with a need to understand and know how to support those in our
midst traversing this road, not by choice or whim, but by the need to live their authentic selves.
The Most Dangerous Year
https://www.amazon.com/Most-Dangerous-Year-Annabelle-Knowlton/dp/B07SCKSGX4/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=the+most+dangerous+year&qid=1571099632&sr=8-1
A movie documenting the path of families supporting transgender school age children. It is
available for about $4 from Amazon Prime and is well worth the cost and time to view the movie.
Among these were 90yo grandparents with a need to understand and know how to support those in our
midst traversing this road, not by choice or whim, but by the need to live their authentic selves.
The most ironic point for me came when our blind Lieutenant Governor Cyrus Habib was one of the only
politicians with the CLEAR VISION - let that sink in - to recognize that protecting the civil rights of these
children and future transgender persons was clearly equal to protecting ADA rights that he had been
subject to discrimination for due to his blindness. He also assured my vote for him for as long as he
chooses to run for being on the right side of history in standing up to protect the rights of LGTBQIA -
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender, Queer, Intersex and Asexual (and any other letters necessary
to be fully inclusive) as a commitment, not due to politics, but because it is an issue of moral integrity.
politicians with the CLEAR VISION - let that sink in - to recognize that protecting the civil rights of these
children and future transgender persons was clearly equal to protecting ADA rights that he had been
subject to discrimination for due to his blindness. He also assured my vote for him for as long as he
chooses to run for being on the right side of history in standing up to protect the rights of LGTBQIA -
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender, Queer, Intersex and Asexual (and any other letters necessary
to be fully inclusive) as a commitment, not due to politics, but because it is an issue of moral integrity.
Be educated, be aware of signature gathering efforts to eliminate the rights of others.
Be open to the plight of others who fight for rights that in no way threaten your own.
Be on the RIGHT side of History.
Be open to the plight of others who fight for rights that in no way threaten your own.
Be on the RIGHT side of History.
Wednesday, October 2, 2019
Circuits Round the Sun - Opportunities for Experience
Life is all about experiences and how those experiences mold you to relate to the rest of the world. Chosen experiences this week were all about self care, self-awareness, mindfulness and creating space for calm in a too busy world. In the last year, it has become a goal to pay more attention to self-care, learn to hold space for others without projecting my agenda and to seize opportunities to explore areas I would normally pass by in the course of being a slave to the schedule. Be open to change, opportunity and experience peace in the day to day.
On Saturday, my day was spent at a workshop making prayer labyrinth mats. We learned the history, design elements, themes and meditative prayers for walking labyrinths. We all shared locations of truly exceptional labyrinths encountered in the world - there is a winery in Eugene OR with a lavender labyrinth that is now on my bucket list - and then commenced planning to complete our own small scale labyrinths. It was an exercise in patience, faith and a moving meditation exercise in and of itself. I thought I had chosen a simple pattern... not so much. But in the end, was the only participant with a completed project. Others had their layout penciled in and we brainstormed ways to complete the layout with glued on embellishments, decorative stitching, painting the labyrinth design as a background base for a painting in the foreground and other expressions of personal preference. The uniting of women from all walks of life, ages, professions, faith bases and intentions was as much of an education as the workshop itself.
The plan was to explore the grounds of the priory in Olympia, but weather prevented that plan from occurring, and left it for another opportunity now that I am familiar with the location.
Sunday was spent in my usual and customary worship service with all the trimmings. Full choral music, instrumental accompaniment, a church full of people who have served on my faith journey for the last 10 years, family, friends and friends I consider as family. There was potluck coffee hour after the service and the opportunity to share the adventures and challenges of the past week.
Monday, my birthday, brought my mom and a church pal to yoga class and out to lunch for Thai food. We learned that with one modified downward dog move, we stimulate 76 acupressure points of restoration and healing in our bodies and noted that this move needs to happen daily in life. The opportunity to learn what is good for heart, soul, mind and spirit while refreshing and nourishing with well seasoned fresh food was good for all systems. We visited the back yard of our new home and reveled in the glory of creation in the water fowl, plants and bright blue sky that appeared.
Tuesday presented the opportunity to join a small group in centering prayer. A passage was shared from Brother Lawrence - a Carmelite monk, and we were given 20 minutes to reflect, hold space and contemplate the passage in our own interpretation. I had recently learned in yoga that finding your true center of gravity would feel like opening a door and the urge to yawn was a clue that one had found it. I was able to identify the feeling of center both in mind and body and felt that was enough for one day. Yes, my mind wandered. Yes, I had to snap it's leash back to mindful emptiness. Yes, I utilized some yogic breathing to assist in that endeavor. But it was all good.
There is no right or wrong way to center, to pray, to find one's path in the world. We are all here to help each other. But the path for one, may not be the right path for all. Life often feels like a maze where we have made a wrong choice and followed the winding path to somewhere we ultimately did not want to be. While a labyrinth helps us to discern how far and how fast and what we hope to find when we reach the center and reexamine the path as we exit the labyrinth for what we might do differently next time.
On Saturday, my day was spent at a workshop making prayer labyrinth mats. We learned the history, design elements, themes and meditative prayers for walking labyrinths. We all shared locations of truly exceptional labyrinths encountered in the world - there is a winery in Eugene OR with a lavender labyrinth that is now on my bucket list - and then commenced planning to complete our own small scale labyrinths. It was an exercise in patience, faith and a moving meditation exercise in and of itself. I thought I had chosen a simple pattern... not so much. But in the end, was the only participant with a completed project. Others had their layout penciled in and we brainstormed ways to complete the layout with glued on embellishments, decorative stitching, painting the labyrinth design as a background base for a painting in the foreground and other expressions of personal preference. The uniting of women from all walks of life, ages, professions, faith bases and intentions was as much of an education as the workshop itself.
The plan was to explore the grounds of the priory in Olympia, but weather prevented that plan from occurring, and left it for another opportunity now that I am familiar with the location.
Sunday was spent in my usual and customary worship service with all the trimmings. Full choral music, instrumental accompaniment, a church full of people who have served on my faith journey for the last 10 years, family, friends and friends I consider as family. There was potluck coffee hour after the service and the opportunity to share the adventures and challenges of the past week.
Monday, my birthday, brought my mom and a church pal to yoga class and out to lunch for Thai food. We learned that with one modified downward dog move, we stimulate 76 acupressure points of restoration and healing in our bodies and noted that this move needs to happen daily in life. The opportunity to learn what is good for heart, soul, mind and spirit while refreshing and nourishing with well seasoned fresh food was good for all systems. We visited the back yard of our new home and reveled in the glory of creation in the water fowl, plants and bright blue sky that appeared.
Tuesday presented the opportunity to join a small group in centering prayer. A passage was shared from Brother Lawrence - a Carmelite monk, and we were given 20 minutes to reflect, hold space and contemplate the passage in our own interpretation. I had recently learned in yoga that finding your true center of gravity would feel like opening a door and the urge to yawn was a clue that one had found it. I was able to identify the feeling of center both in mind and body and felt that was enough for one day. Yes, my mind wandered. Yes, I had to snap it's leash back to mindful emptiness. Yes, I utilized some yogic breathing to assist in that endeavor. But it was all good.
There is no right or wrong way to center, to pray, to find one's path in the world. We are all here to help each other. But the path for one, may not be the right path for all. Life often feels like a maze where we have made a wrong choice and followed the winding path to somewhere we ultimately did not want to be. While a labyrinth helps us to discern how far and how fast and what we hope to find when we reach the center and reexamine the path as we exit the labyrinth for what we might do differently next time.
Monday, September 23, 2019
GEMS in my life
I often wear a stack of bracelets with several birth stones - blue sapphire is mine, peridot is my mother's, red ruby is my best pal's and blue topaz is my sister's favorite but not her birth stone. The irony is I bought all the bracelets at seriously reduced price without consideration of what meaning the gems available had in my personal life. At that time, I did not yet know my best pal - but would meet her later that year. These bracelets catch and reflect the light that pulls me through winter's darkest gray days.
In considering the number of gems - Generationally Enriching Matrons of Spirit - in our pews at church... Barbara, Mary, Shirley, Edna and others, I thought "What an amazing group of women that know our entire church's history. We should bottle that resource while it is still available." I'm trying to figure out a manner and a venue that would provide a way to do so and have yet to come up with a good idea...
In considering the number of gems - Generationally Enriching Matrons of Spirit - in our pews at church... Barbara, Mary, Shirley, Edna and others, I thought "What an amazing group of women that know our entire church's history. We should bottle that resource while it is still available." I'm trying to figure out a manner and a venue that would provide a way to do so and have yet to come up with a good idea...
Tuesday, August 13, 2019
Precious Time
One of my motivations behind taking an early retirement was the opportunity to spend more time doing fun things with my parents - now in their mid-70s. Making memories and hanging out as peers, before it becomes necessary to shift into a care giving role as their needs and progression of age dictates. Having a memorable anecdote to stir a memory in a mind plagued with dementia can make the difference between a mundane task and quality time reviewing the past while completing a bothersome task like taking medications or tending to skin issues.
This past weekend, mom celebrated the 53rd anniversary of her 21st b-day - Don't bother to with the math... It's not my forte. Taking my mom to the ocean is where her inner 5 year old emerges. She brings her kite, her brightest smile and checks the wind for the best angle to launch her kite and spirits aloft. Offering Mom an escape from the usual schedule with a beach trip was one I could offer with no qualms. It effectively worked its usual magic. We added daily morning mimosas in small orange juice containers and a good time was had by all.
Time spent at the beach - whether ocean, bay or lake side - has always been cathartic for me. Long ago, I developed the mantra that the waves come close to steal whatever is plaguing your mind, take it out to sea and smash it in the surf. Now that I practice yoga, the image of surf and kites riding swift breezes give me another dimension to escape to during my time of mindful practice.
We were also celebrating the long-awaited closing of the sale of our family home, which occurred during our beach trip. And we timed our trip to be able to tour a series of artist studios to see creativity in its natural habitat. How could one not create art when surrounded by beach scenery on a daily basis?
As usually happens when we travel together, anecdotes are shared and new ones develop. After birthday dinner at the casino, we were on our way out the door. My folks are NOT gamblers. They spent much of their lives together under a STRICT budget that left no room for trivialities. So, when Dad pulled out a $5 bill to take a slot machine for a spin, I was stunned. Even more so when he pushed MAX BET on his third roll. AND WON! The bonus animation started and I had to coach him through the steps of each level... he ended up with a three level bonus... for the uninitiated - that RARELY happens. He figured if he made $20 on his $5 investment, he was doing OK. When he ended up with significantly more than than - both he and mom were stunned. He cashed out his ticket and more instruction was required on the redemption... he wanted to take it to the cashier cage - of which there is no more; unless you win in the tens of thousands. Dad was a little disappointed that when he cashed out there was no cascade of quarters to catch in a bucket like in the OLD days. But still amused that he won on three rolls.
In my family, when there is down time and cocktails, there are board games. We played Scrabble - complete with "My rack is deplorable" jokes - "I hear no complaints from your better half..." "There's gotta be a vowel in that old bag." "Who are you calling an old bag?" We discerned the new rules to a new game - badly and made up our own to serve our purposes. I noticed that as the night got later and the cocktails more potent; the rules followed became fewer and fewer... hmm.
We had originally contemplated taking a 6yo nephew with us for the excursion, but decided that a reconnaissance mission was necessary first. We've determined that next year both nephews will be prime age for:
1) fetching crashed kites
2) sprinting up the stairs to unlock the hotel room door ahead of us - usu for a bathroom sprint...
3) fetching dropped items left behind
4) possibly learning to make a good cocktail,
5) provide good nap companions and
6) give us reason to try all the entertainment options we skipped this time - like bumper cars...
Now we have to decide which WA beach presents a better venue for that purpose.
Here's to more family quality time to make those precious memories! Cheers!
This past weekend, mom celebrated the 53rd anniversary of her 21st b-day - Don't bother to with the math... It's not my forte. Taking my mom to the ocean is where her inner 5 year old emerges. She brings her kite, her brightest smile and checks the wind for the best angle to launch her kite and spirits aloft. Offering Mom an escape from the usual schedule with a beach trip was one I could offer with no qualms. It effectively worked its usual magic. We added daily morning mimosas in small orange juice containers and a good time was had by all.
Time spent at the beach - whether ocean, bay or lake side - has always been cathartic for me. Long ago, I developed the mantra that the waves come close to steal whatever is plaguing your mind, take it out to sea and smash it in the surf. Now that I practice yoga, the image of surf and kites riding swift breezes give me another dimension to escape to during my time of mindful practice.
We were also celebrating the long-awaited closing of the sale of our family home, which occurred during our beach trip. And we timed our trip to be able to tour a series of artist studios to see creativity in its natural habitat. How could one not create art when surrounded by beach scenery on a daily basis?
As usually happens when we travel together, anecdotes are shared and new ones develop. After birthday dinner at the casino, we were on our way out the door. My folks are NOT gamblers. They spent much of their lives together under a STRICT budget that left no room for trivialities. So, when Dad pulled out a $5 bill to take a slot machine for a spin, I was stunned. Even more so when he pushed MAX BET on his third roll. AND WON! The bonus animation started and I had to coach him through the steps of each level... he ended up with a three level bonus... for the uninitiated - that RARELY happens. He figured if he made $20 on his $5 investment, he was doing OK. When he ended up with significantly more than than - both he and mom were stunned. He cashed out his ticket and more instruction was required on the redemption... he wanted to take it to the cashier cage - of which there is no more; unless you win in the tens of thousands. Dad was a little disappointed that when he cashed out there was no cascade of quarters to catch in a bucket like in the OLD days. But still amused that he won on three rolls.
In my family, when there is down time and cocktails, there are board games. We played Scrabble - complete with "My rack is deplorable" jokes - "I hear no complaints from your better half..." "There's gotta be a vowel in that old bag." "Who are you calling an old bag?" We discerned the new rules to a new game - badly and made up our own to serve our purposes. I noticed that as the night got later and the cocktails more potent; the rules followed became fewer and fewer... hmm.
We had originally contemplated taking a 6yo nephew with us for the excursion, but decided that a reconnaissance mission was necessary first. We've determined that next year both nephews will be prime age for:
1) fetching crashed kites
2) sprinting up the stairs to unlock the hotel room door ahead of us - usu for a bathroom sprint...
3) fetching dropped items left behind
4) possibly learning to make a good cocktail,
5) provide good nap companions and
6) give us reason to try all the entertainment options we skipped this time - like bumper cars...
Now we have to decide which WA beach presents a better venue for that purpose.
Here's to more family quality time to make those precious memories! Cheers!
Thursday, August 1, 2019
Attitude Adjustment Hour
People often ask how we have adjusted to lake life and my favorite response is that it is like shifting to neutral to be here, but we don't often have or make time to enjoy those moments. This morning I'm taking my attitude adjustment hour to put heart, mind and body in neutral. To find where I am strong, weak, need care and just be - experiencing with each sense all that there is to absorb. I find the most bliss when the people with riding mowers fire them up and mow the back 40 because that generates a nap response in my brain that will not be ignored. So, overall, we've adjusted to everything BUT the smaller square footage and the myriad of stairs. We have 37 stairs top to bottom. You have to REALLY want to bring those groceries in and shop judiciously.
The air is mild and cool, the cup of tea is hot and fragrant, cat stalking the deck watching birds and ducks from a safe distance, the lake is calm and smooth, Mt. Rainier is obscured by clouds but I have faith it will show its majesty before the end of the day. Wind chimes tinkle, birds tweet, geese honk, ducks waddle to our door to receive their morning rations - they now let us within 3 feet of them if we are holding a large coffee cup of duck pellets. But they really prefer uncooked rice and frozen corn, truth be told. Further away, traffic sounds are beginning to intrude, but only if I let them.
The lake is often free of people, as there is no public access. Which keeps it quiet until late afternoon, when the apartment complex on the other side spills most of its teens and tweens onto the dock. We have a flock of 11 new goslings with 4 adults that watch over them, it's getting harder to tell the young from the mature geese now after several months. The goose sounds were annoying at first, during mating season, there are no quiet hours. Now that we've resided here through 3 seasons, and witnessed the changes there are aspects to look forward to with each season. In Fall, we have a better view of the mated pair of bald eagles in the tree stands to our east side and enjoy watching them glide and ride thermals. In winter, the birds really love that Dan still feeds them. In spring, new bunnies, ducklings and goslings emerge and I look forward to those above 60 degree days to brave the cold water on my calves to take a kayak trip. It takes 30-45 minutes to travel the length and width of the lake, noticing little changes in the 45 houses that surround it. Some McMansions, but mostly small former lake cabins that have been converted to residences. The last open lot was just sold recently and I'm anxious and dreading the changes to come with that acquisition.
Mr. M finds more peace just observing the lake from the deck and caring for the many little creatures who make their habitat at the lake. He's probably violating a HOA code of some kind, but the ducks are happy and that is all he cares about.
I find being on the water in a kayak to be a soul-satisfying experience. Drifting close to eye level with the water fowl, dangling fingers in the water to an occasional nibble by a curios fry - 2" fish. The water plants smell vaguely seaweedy but more earthy, like the dank smell of old life vests that haven't been rinsed after use. The smell that, with Brut after shave, reminds me of my grandfather. It's where I commune with the memory of lake fishing with my Grandpa Bud.
He would get irritated with me for not baiting with a hook, just tying a marshmallow to the end of my line. I wasn't there to CATCH fish, I was there for an afternoon of quality time and junk food in a boat with my Grandpa. He died when I was 14, so that was time well spent. Plus, if we actually caught fish, there would be no stop at KFC or for fish and chips dinner on the way home, I knew the drill, and how to play my cards right. As the oldest grandchild, and a girl, I had to assert my right to fish. And take math courses. Grandpa was old school "What do girls need to learn geometry for?"
A sunny day in a small boat with Grandpa, snacks and no expectations of a pre-teen girl, that was a win-win. Grandpa found second hand to convert for boating use - being an auto mechanic, he utilized leftover auto seats to improve the aluminum bench in the boat so we'd be comfy. Found an 8 track player and wired that into the small boat motor engine, so we could either have tunes or power; but not both simultaneously. My life vest neck cushion was too high, so he tacked it down with duct tape. I once got my gum stick in my hair, so he hacked it out with his keys... the list goes on.
Being on the lake is the time when I fill Grandpa in on the current exploits of Joe - who resembles him and Nick - who has his gentle demeanor, but not his misogyny. They would have enjoyed each other greatly. I tell him about the nephews' latest antics and once again we chat while out on the lake finding neutral in the fast-paced world. Some cultures have an altar to commune with ancestors, I have a lake.
The air is mild and cool, the cup of tea is hot and fragrant, cat stalking the deck watching birds and ducks from a safe distance, the lake is calm and smooth, Mt. Rainier is obscured by clouds but I have faith it will show its majesty before the end of the day. Wind chimes tinkle, birds tweet, geese honk, ducks waddle to our door to receive their morning rations - they now let us within 3 feet of them if we are holding a large coffee cup of duck pellets. But they really prefer uncooked rice and frozen corn, truth be told. Further away, traffic sounds are beginning to intrude, but only if I let them.
The lake is often free of people, as there is no public access. Which keeps it quiet until late afternoon, when the apartment complex on the other side spills most of its teens and tweens onto the dock. We have a flock of 11 new goslings with 4 adults that watch over them, it's getting harder to tell the young from the mature geese now after several months. The goose sounds were annoying at first, during mating season, there are no quiet hours. Now that we've resided here through 3 seasons, and witnessed the changes there are aspects to look forward to with each season. In Fall, we have a better view of the mated pair of bald eagles in the tree stands to our east side and enjoy watching them glide and ride thermals. In winter, the birds really love that Dan still feeds them. In spring, new bunnies, ducklings and goslings emerge and I look forward to those above 60 degree days to brave the cold water on my calves to take a kayak trip. It takes 30-45 minutes to travel the length and width of the lake, noticing little changes in the 45 houses that surround it. Some McMansions, but mostly small former lake cabins that have been converted to residences. The last open lot was just sold recently and I'm anxious and dreading the changes to come with that acquisition.
Mr. M finds more peace just observing the lake from the deck and caring for the many little creatures who make their habitat at the lake. He's probably violating a HOA code of some kind, but the ducks are happy and that is all he cares about.
I find being on the water in a kayak to be a soul-satisfying experience. Drifting close to eye level with the water fowl, dangling fingers in the water to an occasional nibble by a curios fry - 2" fish. The water plants smell vaguely seaweedy but more earthy, like the dank smell of old life vests that haven't been rinsed after use. The smell that, with Brut after shave, reminds me of my grandfather. It's where I commune with the memory of lake fishing with my Grandpa Bud.
He would get irritated with me for not baiting with a hook, just tying a marshmallow to the end of my line. I wasn't there to CATCH fish, I was there for an afternoon of quality time and junk food in a boat with my Grandpa. He died when I was 14, so that was time well spent. Plus, if we actually caught fish, there would be no stop at KFC or for fish and chips dinner on the way home, I knew the drill, and how to play my cards right. As the oldest grandchild, and a girl, I had to assert my right to fish. And take math courses. Grandpa was old school "What do girls need to learn geometry for?"
A sunny day in a small boat with Grandpa, snacks and no expectations of a pre-teen girl, that was a win-win. Grandpa found second hand to convert for boating use - being an auto mechanic, he utilized leftover auto seats to improve the aluminum bench in the boat so we'd be comfy. Found an 8 track player and wired that into the small boat motor engine, so we could either have tunes or power; but not both simultaneously. My life vest neck cushion was too high, so he tacked it down with duct tape. I once got my gum stick in my hair, so he hacked it out with his keys... the list goes on.
Being on the lake is the time when I fill Grandpa in on the current exploits of Joe - who resembles him and Nick - who has his gentle demeanor, but not his misogyny. They would have enjoyed each other greatly. I tell him about the nephews' latest antics and once again we chat while out on the lake finding neutral in the fast-paced world. Some cultures have an altar to commune with ancestors, I have a lake.
Wednesday, July 17, 2019
High Hilarity Baking
Some folks know I've been dabbling in cooking with cannabis a bit over the last several years. Much to the surprise of our sons and Mr. M. I've even looked at retirement job opportunities in the industry and haven't yet ruled it out. However, in the course of my trials and triumphs there have been some lessons learned that will be cause for amusement...
My first time at a cannabis dispensary was with a friend in the medical field. WE were literally like kids in a candy store - and didn't realize there was a limit to how much product you could buy in a single visit. NOW we know how to work around that rule...
She was caring for her grandmother who would often forget to eat or forget if she had eaten and grandma's MD was concerned about her recent dramatic weight loss as a result. We purchased some small single serving chocolates and caramels for G-ma. She gained 8 pounds that month with the appetite stimulation. She was eating more volume and more often when taking a 1/2 dose twice daily. Of course, we had to sample the products and were quite giddy that evening... but slept like toddlers...
The cost is prohibitive for some, and ready made products are costly as well. This is why I chose to learn to generate my own products and self-test strains, edibles and topicals that worked well for my issues. I did not find smoking or vaping to be helpful as my lung system totally rejects that method of delivery. Topicals provide short-term relief and sublingual doses (1/2 ml dropperful AM/PM) provide the most consistent long-term pain relief for me, if consistently taken. If I miss 2 days, I'm right back where I started.
I tend to lean toward high CBD cannabis strains to self-treat migraines and joint pain (pun intended). The THC is the chemical that produces most of cannabis' psychological effects - the "High". CBD affect the nerve system the endocannabioid system that registers pain and inflammation. This video explains better the difference. I also use some 1:1 THC/CBD strains where the psychological effects are mitigated by the presence of CBD.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZqVx1M3daQ
#1 - My first baking class was found through Living Social. Six very different women gathered at a private kitchen on a Saturday morning and made 4 different snack foods. We were not allowed to imbibe while cooking but soon realized that a contact high is possible just by not turning on the ventilation fan... rookie mistake. Licking the spoon or beaters is also a no-no in this venue... I was nearly booted from bake class for a violation.
#2 - When preparing raw "bud" for cooking it is wrapped in tin foil and then baked for 20 minutes at low consistent heat to "sweat the oil" from the terpines (plant cells). Then the plant is infused in a fat based liquid - butter, oil or honey are top choices. Do not UNDER ANY circumstances LICK the tin foil after baking the bud. Ancient ancestors and former pets were communed with on that day...
#3 - When baking several dishes of cannabis treats and sampling as you go - make SURE you have non cannabis infused snacks to cure the munchies. Otherwise, see you next Tuesday... Damn, nothing to nibble but more canna-kibble... Advanced preparation for baking IS necessary beyond just what is to be baked. Prep for the after effects... something else I SHOULD have learned in high school, but I was busy being boring.
#4 - When sampling homemade edibles for the FIRST time, cut into 1/4 pieces - take 1 and wait 1 hour before a second dose. And on packaged products, pay ATTENTION to dosing suggestions - if it says one and it looks like a Barbie-sized cookie; only take one - it can pack a wallop depending on the strain used. 'Well, two squares broke off and I'm not a newbie, I should be fine.' I'm seeing dead people and convinced Dan has a contract out to kill me... 2 hours later. This is why I stay away from THC products, 'paranoia will destroy ya...'
#5 - Get a set of Tupperware with GREEN lids and label EVERYTHING that has ANY cannabis in it. Once it's in the black hole of your freezer or fridge it's easy to utilize the wrong butter when making family dinner... or a major temptation in some family gatherings. YOU legally must tell anyone that there is cannabis in anything they eat and may not serve it to someone unknown.
#6 - Anything with cannabutter in it will have a "planty" odor or taste. Use other seasonings or sweeteners liberally. Using 1/2 infused product and 1/2 non-infused product will mellow the "bite".
#7 - When you clean up the "overspill" on gummies, candies or other edibles, factor that dose in to the ones you take after product is done.
#8 - When going to the dispensary, go on a slow day early in the AM, so you have all day to visit others to get the full gram you need to actually cook a decent amount of goods... also to have good service from your budtender...
#9 - Research strains online before you go to the dispensary - for sales as well as intended outcomes. Indica and Sativa strains have varying levels of chemicals that affect people differently.
#10 - IF you are going to cook with cannabis often, it's best to have a separate set of cookware and utensils that are seasoned each time you cook. Metal utensils will affect the overall taste. Ceramic, glass, bamboo are recommended. The bamboo will absorb a little essence every time used, but not in a detrimental way.
I've purchased a Magic Butter machine that keeps all the mess to a minimum and a separate small crockpot for infusing oil, honey and butter for later baking use. The Magic Butter machine looks like a small alien spacecraft and makes a heck of a racket, but effectively heats and infused the materials and even makes clean up pretty simple when one is jonesing for a power nap.
My first time at a cannabis dispensary was with a friend in the medical field. WE were literally like kids in a candy store - and didn't realize there was a limit to how much product you could buy in a single visit. NOW we know how to work around that rule...
She was caring for her grandmother who would often forget to eat or forget if she had eaten and grandma's MD was concerned about her recent dramatic weight loss as a result. We purchased some small single serving chocolates and caramels for G-ma. She gained 8 pounds that month with the appetite stimulation. She was eating more volume and more often when taking a 1/2 dose twice daily. Of course, we had to sample the products and were quite giddy that evening... but slept like toddlers...
The cost is prohibitive for some, and ready made products are costly as well. This is why I chose to learn to generate my own products and self-test strains, edibles and topicals that worked well for my issues. I did not find smoking or vaping to be helpful as my lung system totally rejects that method of delivery. Topicals provide short-term relief and sublingual doses (1/2 ml dropperful AM/PM) provide the most consistent long-term pain relief for me, if consistently taken. If I miss 2 days, I'm right back where I started.
I tend to lean toward high CBD cannabis strains to self-treat migraines and joint pain (pun intended). The THC is the chemical that produces most of cannabis' psychological effects - the "High". CBD affect the nerve system the endocannabioid system that registers pain and inflammation. This video explains better the difference. I also use some 1:1 THC/CBD strains where the psychological effects are mitigated by the presence of CBD.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZqVx1M3daQ
#1 - My first baking class was found through Living Social. Six very different women gathered at a private kitchen on a Saturday morning and made 4 different snack foods. We were not allowed to imbibe while cooking but soon realized that a contact high is possible just by not turning on the ventilation fan... rookie mistake. Licking the spoon or beaters is also a no-no in this venue... I was nearly booted from bake class for a violation.
#2 - When preparing raw "bud" for cooking it is wrapped in tin foil and then baked for 20 minutes at low consistent heat to "sweat the oil" from the terpines (plant cells). Then the plant is infused in a fat based liquid - butter, oil or honey are top choices. Do not UNDER ANY circumstances LICK the tin foil after baking the bud. Ancient ancestors and former pets were communed with on that day...
#3 - When baking several dishes of cannabis treats and sampling as you go - make SURE you have non cannabis infused snacks to cure the munchies. Otherwise, see you next Tuesday... Damn, nothing to nibble but more canna-kibble... Advanced preparation for baking IS necessary beyond just what is to be baked. Prep for the after effects... something else I SHOULD have learned in high school, but I was busy being boring.
#4 - When sampling homemade edibles for the FIRST time, cut into 1/4 pieces - take 1 and wait 1 hour before a second dose. And on packaged products, pay ATTENTION to dosing suggestions - if it says one and it looks like a Barbie-sized cookie; only take one - it can pack a wallop depending on the strain used. 'Well, two squares broke off and I'm not a newbie, I should be fine.' I'm seeing dead people and convinced Dan has a contract out to kill me... 2 hours later. This is why I stay away from THC products, 'paranoia will destroy ya...'
#5 - Get a set of Tupperware with GREEN lids and label EVERYTHING that has ANY cannabis in it. Once it's in the black hole of your freezer or fridge it's easy to utilize the wrong butter when making family dinner... or a major temptation in some family gatherings. YOU legally must tell anyone that there is cannabis in anything they eat and may not serve it to someone unknown.
#6 - Anything with cannabutter in it will have a "planty" odor or taste. Use other seasonings or sweeteners liberally. Using 1/2 infused product and 1/2 non-infused product will mellow the "bite".
#7 - When you clean up the "overspill" on gummies, candies or other edibles, factor that dose in to the ones you take after product is done.
#8 - When going to the dispensary, go on a slow day early in the AM, so you have all day to visit others to get the full gram you need to actually cook a decent amount of goods... also to have good service from your budtender...
#9 - Research strains online before you go to the dispensary - for sales as well as intended outcomes. Indica and Sativa strains have varying levels of chemicals that affect people differently.
#10 - IF you are going to cook with cannabis often, it's best to have a separate set of cookware and utensils that are seasoned each time you cook. Metal utensils will affect the overall taste. Ceramic, glass, bamboo are recommended. The bamboo will absorb a little essence every time used, but not in a detrimental way.
I've purchased a Magic Butter machine that keeps all the mess to a minimum and a separate small crockpot for infusing oil, honey and butter for later baking use. The Magic Butter machine looks like a small alien spacecraft and makes a heck of a racket, but effectively heats and infused the materials and even makes clean up pretty simple when one is jonesing for a power nap.
Saturday, July 13, 2019
Make America Care Again... THAT is our route to greatness
Last night attended Lights for Liberty with my parents and about 12 fellow church members. We assembled for snacks and poster making and had a loose itinerary of where to attend an event at Saltwater Unitarian Church http://saltwaterchurch.org/ in Des Moines in conjunction with the national Lights for Liberty event. We encountered gracious hosts, convenient rest rooms and stood side by side with lit candles, voices raised in song and prayer to right the wrongs of this administration's policies.
We listened to people who are watchers and reporters who have spent time in a detention camp in Florida - just validating that the children there are seen and cared for by waving to them from a stepladder over a fence at a distance imposed by government regulations - which change daily.
#Don'tLookAway from refugee mistreatment.
We heard from a young woman who fled from Nicaragua without her child for her own safety - the mother's and the child's.
We heard from a group AidNW www.aidnw.org that mans (persons) a donated RV to receive newly released detainees in the warehouse district of Tacoma with literally only the clothes on their backs that they have been wearing for up to 6 weeks without benefit of shower.
This group has an Amazon wish list, takes donations and would prefer several small to one large donation as they exist purely on donations. Volunteers are on site from 2-7pm daily to welcome, provide care, compassion, food and clean clothing and toiletries, opportunity to communicate with family, make plans for their transition to freedom and whatever else is needed. TO VALIDATE that these people MATTER and that the policy of our government is NOT the will of our citizens.
Otherwise, these detainees would be released in an area of Tacoma that is bleak, unpopulated and without resources nearby and without a clue of what their next steps should be. AidNW is working in cooperation with Tacoma Police and ICE to exist and is dedicated to peacefully coexisting in the area they serve to KEEP serving for as long as they are permitted.
AidNW serves ALL detainees being released - not just those from Latin America and Mexico as all refugees and asylum seekers are being detained prior to being allowed to start legal processing to remain in the country.
Would you go to a country by choice to be detained for an undisclosed amount of time before being permitted to apply for asylum if you did not have to?
Could you sleep with the lights on among 1200 other unwashed persons?
Could you relieve your biological needs in those conditions?
Could you manage without human contact of those you love? No communication?
We have no clue what kind of situation made the decision necessary and cannot in good conscious judge until we've walked 800 miles, 120 days and countless losses in their shoes.
We HAD MONTHS to prepare a program and policy to receive the caravan of people headed to our borders. And THIS is the best we could do? It's abhorrent conditions are Making America Ghastly Again in the eyes of the rest of the world. This is not greatness, this is not even remotely appropriate. This needs to end.
Ever feel like an organization was put on your radar for a reason? I'm feeling compelled to get involved and support the efforts of AidNW in case that is not apparent. I explored the location today, plan to deliver non perishable food snacks later this week and if I still feel so moved, to take steps toward volunteering in the RV as appropriate.
Many of us feel that there is nothing we can do about the current refugee detainment crisis.
I may not be able to solve the problem everywhere on my own with one action, but collectively, together, my ONE action may be THE one action that makes a difference in one LIFE.
There is no way I can NOT do this.
We listened to people who are watchers and reporters who have spent time in a detention camp in Florida - just validating that the children there are seen and cared for by waving to them from a stepladder over a fence at a distance imposed by government regulations - which change daily.
#Don'tLookAway from refugee mistreatment.
We heard from a young woman who fled from Nicaragua without her child for her own safety - the mother's and the child's.
We heard from a group AidNW www.aidnw.org that mans (persons) a donated RV to receive newly released detainees in the warehouse district of Tacoma with literally only the clothes on their backs that they have been wearing for up to 6 weeks without benefit of shower.
This group has an Amazon wish list, takes donations and would prefer several small to one large donation as they exist purely on donations. Volunteers are on site from 2-7pm daily to welcome, provide care, compassion, food and clean clothing and toiletries, opportunity to communicate with family, make plans for their transition to freedom and whatever else is needed. TO VALIDATE that these people MATTER and that the policy of our government is NOT the will of our citizens.
Otherwise, these detainees would be released in an area of Tacoma that is bleak, unpopulated and without resources nearby and without a clue of what their next steps should be. AidNW is working in cooperation with Tacoma Police and ICE to exist and is dedicated to peacefully coexisting in the area they serve to KEEP serving for as long as they are permitted.
AidNW serves ALL detainees being released - not just those from Latin America and Mexico as all refugees and asylum seekers are being detained prior to being allowed to start legal processing to remain in the country.
Would you go to a country by choice to be detained for an undisclosed amount of time before being permitted to apply for asylum if you did not have to?
Could you sleep with the lights on among 1200 other unwashed persons?
Could you relieve your biological needs in those conditions?
Could you manage without human contact of those you love? No communication?
We have no clue what kind of situation made the decision necessary and cannot in good conscious judge until we've walked 800 miles, 120 days and countless losses in their shoes.
We HAD MONTHS to prepare a program and policy to receive the caravan of people headed to our borders. And THIS is the best we could do? It's abhorrent conditions are Making America Ghastly Again in the eyes of the rest of the world. This is not greatness, this is not even remotely appropriate. This needs to end.
Ever feel like an organization was put on your radar for a reason? I'm feeling compelled to get involved and support the efforts of AidNW in case that is not apparent. I explored the location today, plan to deliver non perishable food snacks later this week and if I still feel so moved, to take steps toward volunteering in the RV as appropriate.
Many of us feel that there is nothing we can do about the current refugee detainment crisis.
I may not be able to solve the problem everywhere on my own with one action, but collectively, together, my ONE action may be THE one action that makes a difference in one LIFE.
There is no way I can NOT do this.
Tuesday, July 2, 2019
Word of the Week - Freedom
Isn't it strange when one theme is repeatedly woven into your consciousness in unexpected ways? This week it has happened with the word freedom. This week we celebrate freedom from British tyranny. In the sermon at church last Sunday - the essence of which boiled down to freedom being free ONLY when given away to others in service. Then Monday in yoga class of all places - the theme was repeated in describing the concept of Moksha - enlightenment through freedom, release or emancipation. As well as Dharma being the moral order of the universe and how it relates to Moksha. But I digress...
Freedom isn't free unless all who desire it share in it. I spent this afternoon in downtown Tacoma silently holding a sign that read "WE cannot celebrate Freedom and Independence while CHILDREN are in CAGES!!!" The sign elicited comment from people of all walks of life, cultures, creeds, colors and only two negative comments I refuse to dwell on. But I did find the grace to pray for the offenders. It garnered support from the many honks, thumbs up and nods I received, even from law enforcement personnel.
In grade school when I learned of the Nazi Germany history that included the concentration camps, I could not fathom that no one had the courage to stand up and stop it before 6,000 people died. Did no one reach out to the rest of the world? I realize now that those who spoke out against the policy were most likely among the 6,000. Until no one remained to speak out for fear of death.
It was at that time that marked on my very being that if I saw injustice, bullying and history begin to repeat itself, I would use my 1st Amendment freedoms to speak up, protest, resist and not give up until someone somewhere heard and registered that this was wrong. I'm seeing it now and am not willing to let us go further down this path.
Can you imagine what this debacle will do to our foreign policy?
How are we ever going to repair these families we have now destroyed?
What is it costing us to keep these people detained in subhuman conditions?
Who or what corporations are profiting from it and can we boycott them?
What are the effects on the officers responsible for these detention centers?
If you didn't vote in 2016, please commit to doing so in 2020. If you voted for a third party just to keep from voting for the two main candidates, realize the numbers work against you.
If you don't feel strongly enough for any one candidate, ally with the one candidate who can win against the opposition. Someone with integrity, a plan, credibility, diplomacy and who will work with both parties to unite our country instead of destroying through ignorance and insults.
Work for freedom for all, PEACE, justice, care of creation and celebrate the cultures that make this country unique. For someone to come here and face separation and incarceration, what worse horrors must they be fleeing?
How can we celebrate America's freedom and independence
when a government policy exists that tears families apart
as they attempt to follow the process to enter our borders
resulting in parents and children being detained indefinitely
in subhuman conditions?
In grade school when I learned of the Nazi Germany history that included the concentration camps, I could not fathom that no one had the courage to stand up and stop it before 6,000 people died. Did no one reach out to the rest of the world? I realize now that those who spoke out against the policy were most likely among the 6,000. Until no one remained to speak out for fear of death.
It was at that time that marked on my very being that if I saw injustice, bullying and history begin to repeat itself, I would use my 1st Amendment freedoms to speak up, protest, resist and not give up until someone somewhere heard and registered that this was wrong. I'm seeing it now and am not willing to let us go further down this path.
Can you imagine what this debacle will do to our foreign policy?
How are we ever going to repair these families we have now destroyed?
What is it costing us to keep these people detained in subhuman conditions?
Who or what corporations are profiting from it and can we boycott them?
What are the effects on the officers responsible for these detention centers?
WE have NO idea what the long-term effects of this stupid process will be -
but I guarantee we will feel those effects
long after this administration is gone.
Hopefully 2020 will start the healing.
If you don't feel strongly enough for any one candidate, ally with the one candidate who can win against the opposition. Someone with integrity, a plan, credibility, diplomacy and who will work with both parties to unite our country instead of destroying through ignorance and insults.
Work for freedom for all, PEACE, justice, care of creation and celebrate the cultures that make this country unique. For someone to come here and face separation and incarceration, what worse horrors must they be fleeing?
Called to Action...
One of my favorite Eleanor Roosevelt quotes is, "Do one thing every day that scares you." This week I found myself with a little extra time and an inexplicable compulsion to purchase poster making supplies. Our church is preparing to participate in a local PRIDE event... but apparently that was not the reason for this.
Upon returning home, our internet connection was not operational. I could however, access facebook on my cell phone. The first post I saw alerted me to a protest occurring the next day within 30 minutes of my home at a time I had nothing planned. If you believe in God winks, I was about to get a swift God kick in the backside. This protest was about closing the family detention camps that our government is using to detain children in cages. Oh. heck. yes.
I now had the location, the time, the materials and the means to participate. Ever since I first heard of Nazi Germany in grade school I have been unable to fathom how people didn't provide enough opposition to obliterate this awful part of history. I now understand that those who opposed usually joined the population IN the concentration camps until no one was left to protest and all protesters were silent to protect themselves and their own families.
But I have this elusive thing called white privilege and what better way to utilize it than to defend those unable to defend and speak out for themselves. I went to the SeaTac detention center when all of this immigration, wall rhetoric and closing the border crap started. AND WE'RE STILL PROTESTING this policy.
We had MONTHS of monitoring people forming a walking caravan to approach our border to escape horrendous conditions in their own countries. And we couldn't come up with a better plan than separating families and holding children in cages? With insufficient basic human necessities? You think concentration camps made Nazi Germany look bad? The US is going to have a hard time living down this atrocity.
2,363 children separated from their parents at the border.
A portion have been deported.
Some have chosen to stay and pursue citizenship without their parents.
Few have been reunited with their parents.
In WA, we have 167 detainees in the federal detention center. Beds have been requested for up to 12 months. There is no record of how many of these people are parents who have been separated from their children.
$145.19 per day to detain adults in Washington
https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2019/07/236724/help-migrant-children-at-border-crisis
Upon returning home, our internet connection was not operational. I could however, access facebook on my cell phone. The first post I saw alerted me to a protest occurring the next day within 30 minutes of my home at a time I had nothing planned. If you believe in God winks, I was about to get a swift God kick in the backside. This protest was about closing the family detention camps that our government is using to detain children in cages. Oh. heck. yes.
I now had the location, the time, the materials and the means to participate. Ever since I first heard of Nazi Germany in grade school I have been unable to fathom how people didn't provide enough opposition to obliterate this awful part of history. I now understand that those who opposed usually joined the population IN the concentration camps until no one was left to protest and all protesters were silent to protect themselves and their own families.
But I have this elusive thing called white privilege and what better way to utilize it than to defend those unable to defend and speak out for themselves. I went to the SeaTac detention center when all of this immigration, wall rhetoric and closing the border crap started. AND WE'RE STILL PROTESTING this policy.
We had MONTHS of monitoring people forming a walking caravan to approach our border to escape horrendous conditions in their own countries. And we couldn't come up with a better plan than separating families and holding children in cages? With insufficient basic human necessities? You think concentration camps made Nazi Germany look bad? The US is going to have a hard time living down this atrocity.
2,363 children separated from their parents at the border.
A portion have been deported.
Some have chosen to stay and pursue citizenship without their parents.
Few have been reunited with their parents.
In WA, we have 167 detainees in the federal detention center. Beds have been requested for up to 12 months. There is no record of how many of these people are parents who have been separated from their children.
$145.19 per day to detain adults in Washington
https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2019/07/236724/help-migrant-children-at-border-crisis
Tuesday, June 25, 2019
Sassy Cat Adopts New Humans...
Being petless for over 5 years now, we started surfing Petfinder to determine a suitable pet for us. With condo assn limitations,a dog would have to be under 30# and no more than 2 cats. One of us wanted a dog; but not a purse pup. One wanted a cat with very stringent requirements - declawed (also known as special needs cat - exclusive indoors due to our mated pair of bald eagle neighbors), mellow demeanor, quiet meow voice (not a Siamese yowl), soft fur, small size and interesting markings. Tall order for cats up for adoption and not all things one can adequately evaluate in a quick meet and greet.
We had a few near misses.
Mr. M wanted a pair of litter mates... two cats... I wasn't even sure about a single cat.
One cat looked great on paper, but hid in the closet the entire time we visited.
Another had a prohibitive "rehoming fee" of $350.
And a third elicited no response from the owners.
One evening, I surfed Craig's List - which is undeniably the pet rehoming source of which nightmares are generated. After passing a few listings, I stopped at one that seemed almost perfect - 9yo black and white cow spotted cat, nearby was being rehomed due to Grandma going to nursing home and kid being severely allergic when the family tried to take Grandma's cat in. After a brief email exchange, we had an address and a visit appointment. We were going to see if Sassy Gal would like to adopt us... since we KNEW it wouldn't really be our decision, but hers.
Just prior to leaving, I was preparing chicken to marinate and bake for dinner - in retrospect a good cat attractant of raw meat juices on my hands. I should have dabbed a bit behind each ear for good measure. We located the home and the cat was immediately curious about us. Very soft coat, mellow demeanor and looked like a go. We had PLANNED to come back on Sunday and get her as we had a large family gathering planned. Not conducive for new cat acclimation... But her owner wanted to have her out of the house before the kids returned from school - so we loaded up her food, litter box and carrier and had a yowling, peeing, stinky ride home... her, not me or Mr. M.
We arrived at home and she promptly hid under the first bed she encountered for almost 3 days... then moved to the next bedroom and did the same... we had fleeting glimpses of her during those days. She found her box, food and water with no mishaps. We left her with all her accoutrements in the large bedroom for the duration of the large gathering... that way I also didn't have to clean that room!
The next morning she was out and exploring the rest of the house, expressing her satisfaction with tail held high, purring and half-slit eyes. All good signs according to all of the cat body language research I had been feverishly completing online. She has now laid claim to the rocking chair and top floor landing of the stairway as her domain. Queen of all she surveys.
With each move to a new area, I would grab her by the scruff and start her orientation from the litter box so she could explore at her own pace orienting from her familiar materials. At some point, she decided by the scruff grab that I must be the alpha cat and has addressed me as such.
Note: I'm NOT typically a cat person... we got a cat so Mr. M would have company while he works remotely. Mr. M is jealous...
I'm getting the company at bedtime.
I'm getting the leg rubs.
I'm getting the lap time with purrs and I have yet to clean a litter box or feed her.
Your cat; your duties is our agreement.
I guess I need to grab more folks by the scruff of the neck and show them who's boss...
We had a few near misses.
Mr. M wanted a pair of litter mates... two cats... I wasn't even sure about a single cat.
One cat looked great on paper, but hid in the closet the entire time we visited.
Another had a prohibitive "rehoming fee" of $350.
And a third elicited no response from the owners.
One evening, I surfed Craig's List - which is undeniably the pet rehoming source of which nightmares are generated. After passing a few listings, I stopped at one that seemed almost perfect - 9yo black and white cow spotted cat, nearby was being rehomed due to Grandma going to nursing home and kid being severely allergic when the family tried to take Grandma's cat in. After a brief email exchange, we had an address and a visit appointment. We were going to see if Sassy Gal would like to adopt us... since we KNEW it wouldn't really be our decision, but hers.
Just prior to leaving, I was preparing chicken to marinate and bake for dinner - in retrospect a good cat attractant of raw meat juices on my hands. I should have dabbed a bit behind each ear for good measure. We located the home and the cat was immediately curious about us. Very soft coat, mellow demeanor and looked like a go. We had PLANNED to come back on Sunday and get her as we had a large family gathering planned. Not conducive for new cat acclimation... But her owner wanted to have her out of the house before the kids returned from school - so we loaded up her food, litter box and carrier and had a yowling, peeing, stinky ride home... her, not me or Mr. M.
We arrived at home and she promptly hid under the first bed she encountered for almost 3 days... then moved to the next bedroom and did the same... we had fleeting glimpses of her during those days. She found her box, food and water with no mishaps. We left her with all her accoutrements in the large bedroom for the duration of the large gathering... that way I also didn't have to clean that room!
The next morning she was out and exploring the rest of the house, expressing her satisfaction with tail held high, purring and half-slit eyes. All good signs according to all of the cat body language research I had been feverishly completing online. She has now laid claim to the rocking chair and top floor landing of the stairway as her domain. Queen of all she surveys.
With each move to a new area, I would grab her by the scruff and start her orientation from the litter box so she could explore at her own pace orienting from her familiar materials. At some point, she decided by the scruff grab that I must be the alpha cat and has addressed me as such.
Note: I'm NOT typically a cat person... we got a cat so Mr. M would have company while he works remotely. Mr. M is jealous...
I'm getting the company at bedtime.
I'm getting the leg rubs.
I'm getting the lap time with purrs and I have yet to clean a litter box or feed her.
Your cat; your duties is our agreement.
I guess I need to grab more folks by the scruff of the neck and show them who's boss...
Monday, June 10, 2019
Rule of Life?
Developing My Rule of Life - Lenten 1.0 project
Lent is the 40 day period in the Church year where we reenact the time Jesus spent in the desert
Lent is the 40 day period in the Church year where we reenact the time Jesus spent in the desert
by determining our own desert - or journey to navigate for 8 weeks until Easter to improve our
relationship with self, others and ultimately our Greater Being.
We used to give up something like candy or skydiving, but this year the challenge was to spend 9
weeks with a small group exploring a program called The Way of Love. One aspect of this program
was to develop a Rule of Life... a rule of life is a guideline, if you will, to make sure your life path aligns
with true values.
relationship with self, others and ultimately our Greater Being.
We used to give up something like candy or skydiving, but this year the challenge was to spend 9
weeks with a small group exploring a program called The Way of Love. One aspect of this program
was to develop a Rule of Life... a rule of life is a guideline, if you will, to make sure your life path aligns
with true values.
Let me just start by saying, I’m kind of a rebel by nature. So rules in and of themselves don’t always
appeal to me. I need to know the how and why to comply with rules. I’m newly retired and having just
broken the rigid structure of the work day in my life - I am definitely in need of some guidelines to keep
me on track.
appeal to me. I need to know the how and why to comply with rules. I’m newly retired and having just
broken the rigid structure of the work day in my life - I am definitely in need of some guidelines to keep
me on track.
In the course of our move, I found a Rule of Life I composed around 2012, and it was LENGTHY. Many
of the goals and aspirations remained the same - to improve care of self, cultivate healthy relationships,
and positively affect those around me in community, while continuing to grow on the inside and reduce
growth on the outside. I hadn't made much progress in that direction, truthfully.
of the goals and aspirations remained the same - to improve care of self, cultivate healthy relationships,
and positively affect those around me in community, while continuing to grow on the inside and reduce
growth on the outside. I hadn't made much progress in that direction, truthfully.
THIS time, it was important to me that I be able to recall my guidelines on one hand with no more than
FIVE words for each objective.
FIVE words for each objective.
My Basics are these:
Turn - Pause and Self Check Daily
Learn - Carry Forward Day by Day (or other pocket devotional books)
Pray - Jesus in My Passenger Seat
Worship - Be Fully Present at Services
Bless - Praise the Positive
Go - Speak Act and Live with Integrity
Rest - Make and Take Time for ME
Are these always easy to recall? Some more than others - if I get at least one daily, I’m doing better
than I was before. Am I doing them all well and consistently, not always. But I get each new day to
start over, and God knows I’m trying, and my God is OK with best efforts.
than I was before. Am I doing them all well and consistently, not always. But I get each new day to
start over, and God knows I’m trying, and my God is OK with best efforts.
TURN - Pause and self-check daily - Is what I’m doing right now on or off my chosen path?
Playing internet games? Binge watching TV shows? NOPE
Enjoying nature? Spending time with a friend? ABSOLUTELY
LEARN - Carry Forward Day by Day - to reflect on or pass on to others who need it more than I that
day. I know where to get another copy.
day. I know where to get another copy.
When I have to wait - I have a positive action I can indulge in to make me more patient and find a
take-away for further reflection.
take-away for further reflection.
PRAY - Jesus in Your Passenger Seat - Our group turned me on to two new prayer concepts; putting
Jesus in the passenger seat to talk about life and Popcorn prayer. If someone pops into your mind,
pray for them. It can’t hurt and might help even if you don’t know WHY they popped into your head.
Jesus in the passenger seat to talk about life and Popcorn prayer. If someone pops into your mind,
pray for them. It can’t hurt and might help even if you don’t know WHY they popped into your head.
WORSHIP - Be Fully Present at Service - Believe it or not, I have been known to compile my grocery
list during church and not get a THING out of the whole service. You get out of it what you put into it.
By reframing my focus, I find worship much more enriching. Cell phone off - even for texts from the
boys. It can wait an hour or so.
list during church and not get a THING out of the whole service. You get out of it what you put into it.
By reframing my focus, I find worship much more enriching. Cell phone off - even for texts from the
boys. It can wait an hour or so.
BLESS - Praise the Positive - I have a hard time evangelizing and spreading the Word to others.
I do much better to help people see their own good, and I’m trying to focus on the positive in the
world - some days it IS a real challenge. I recently called a friend brave for what she saw as a small
action. She responded to that positive energy right away, it was enlightening.
I do much better to help people see their own good, and I’m trying to focus on the positive in the
world - some days it IS a real challenge. I recently called a friend brave for what she saw as a small
action. She responded to that positive energy right away, it was enlightening.
GO - Speak Act and Live with Integrity - Don’t speak, act or live in ways that do not enrich my life
experience or the life experience of others. Integrity is one of my favorite words as it encompasses the
goal for each day - DO what is really meaningful.
experience or the life experience of others. Integrity is one of my favorite words as it encompasses the
goal for each day - DO what is really meaningful.
REST - Make Time for ME - In the safety talk on airplanes, remember the line “Adjust your oxygen
mask before assisting others?” That is great advice for life, too. You cannot care for others when
depleted, burnt out, tired, hungry, irritable or impatient. Learning to say NO to some commitments and
keep your self-care time sacred is a hard lesson for most women, and men as well. The housekeeping
and errands will wait while you take a short nap, get a haircut, take a yoga class or exercise.
mask before assisting others?” That is great advice for life, too. You cannot care for others when
depleted, burnt out, tired, hungry, irritable or impatient. Learning to say NO to some commitments and
keep your self-care time sacred is a hard lesson for most women, and men as well. The housekeeping
and errands will wait while you take a short nap, get a haircut, take a yoga class or exercise.
These are not yet automatic. They ARE on a 3x5 card in my wallet. Some day they may BECOME
automatic, but I’m not on a race, I’m on a faith journey.
automatic, but I’m not on a race, I’m on a faith journey.
Tuesday, May 28, 2019
10 Things No One Tells you about Colonoscopies
Since 2008, I've had no less than a dozen colonoscopies. The first one found stage 1 cancer and that is the protocol for such discoveries. Often, colon cancer gives very subtle symptoms. But also my siblings, spouse, parents and 48 other friends had colonoscopies they had been avoiding that year.
I became known as the butt buddy - the required ride to and from the procedure. The Q & A person for all things associated with the prep process. Some of my best recommends are shared below. Some are practical, some are vaguely amusing and some are downright brilliant.
1. Schedule your procedure as early as possible in the day. You can take NOTHING by mouth 6 hours before, so you might as well pass that time sleeping, right?
2. Take 3 days off or plan nothing for prep day, procedure day and the day after. You will be given a light amnesiac and it takes a while to wear off. I knew an MD who went sailing right after his procedure and FORGOT how to get back where he launched from - true story. Use your post day to jump start a new healthier eating plan.
3. When buying prep items for your day of CLEAR liquids - go full fat, full flavor, full sodium. You are going to spend 24 hour with these choices - do not skimp on quality. If you can read a label through the bottle - it is a clear liquid. Alcoholic beverages are NOT on the clear liquid list.
4. Buy the most expensive baby wipes you can find and a pack of at least 50. Yes, really. You will thank me later. That cheapo toilet paper you buy is not going to look good after the tenth time it is used in a short time frame.
5. Ask a trusted friend to drive you to and from the appointment. They will need to be available for 3-4 hours, so make it someone you want to be indebted to. They may have to help you get dressed after the process, so take that into consideration as well. They will ALSO have ammo on you as you will be on drugs during the drive home and VERY HONEST AND OPEN. Choose wisely.
6. PREP DAY - Follow instructions to the letter. If something unfortunate happens, like you regurgitate all of one dose of meds - let the office know ASAP. You do not want to get there and have them end you home to chug a lug the prep AGAIN in 2 hours and return (I've done it -- twice.) Follow ALL instructions and drink ALL the prep - they will know if you didn't.
7. BE NICE TO THE nurse doing your IV. Seriously. I have uncooperative veins and I don't want to piss off the person who is going digging in my arm. You're dehydrated, cold, starving and tired from multiple trips to the bathroom last night. She has to literally deal with assholes all day. Treat the staff like your mom, since she was the last person to care for your back side so intently.
8. ENJOY THE BUBBLE SHOW AT THE BEGINNING... that's the last thing you will remember. When you wake up, know that EVERYONE around you is farting loudly and you will be too. That's a good thing, they want you to do it here to CLEAR THE LINES. Go for the gusto. The nurse may even press your belly if you are being too polite. Give in to the 12 yo boy in us all.
9. If the doctor reviews your procedure bedside, that is normal and nothing alarming was found. They take you and your +1 into an office after you are dressed, if it's something serious. But you will be on Fentanyl or some other anesthesia affecting your ability to process information. Best way to hear that you have cancer. I recommend it for all other kinds, but usually not an option.
10. Ask them to WRITE down any instructions, prescriptions, recommendations or follow up actions as well as when you should have your next scope. You will not remember. That's also why you have a sober buddy along.
Proceed cautiously when returning to solid food. It will take a few days for your system to produce solid waste and if overloaded with junk food, it may be unpleasant. Start with low residue foods - eggs, rice, fruits and cooked veggies. Introduce high fiber foods slowly.
I often hear - "It's so inconvenient", "It's gross", "It's just not something I want to do." So is colon cancer and of the two, I'd pick the scope prep. Seriously. It's one day and you know right away the outcome. Otherwise it's a shadow that follows you 24/7 for the rest of your life and could include such adventures like surgery, rounds of chemo or radiation, support groups and putting your family through hell. Suck it up, buttercup.
On the plus side, your pants will fit a bit looser. You'll feel unclogged and get the best NAP of your LIFE!
The only down side of the butt buddy year is that one pal my age, Kelly - one of those who had been avoiding it -- and discovered stage 4 tumors in her colon, and metastasized tumors in her liver and lungs. My oncologist told me "It's not often the first cancer that kills people, but if it involves 3 or more organs... So don't ignore any further symptoms from here on out." She texted me with lots of questions during her prep. She had been ignoring symptoms for years. We stayed in denial until her diagnosis was confirmed. I didn't share what I knew with her at that point. She lived 8 months and left life on her own terms.
Early detection makes all the difference - don't be a butt head. Get the scope if your over 50. If there is family history subtract 5 years for each incident. My boys get to have them at 30, because I'm vigilant. We have a deal that I'll come stay with them for the prep and appt. and take them for any food they are craving when they wake up from their post-procedure nap. If you're scared - I'll take you. Shop for the care kit of clear liquids and supplies. Clean your bathroom post-procedure while you nap the rest of the day - that's the clincher for most folks right there. There has to be a market for that... the UberSuperPooperPackage.
I became known as the butt buddy - the required ride to and from the procedure. The Q & A person for all things associated with the prep process. Some of my best recommends are shared below. Some are practical, some are vaguely amusing and some are downright brilliant.
1. Schedule your procedure as early as possible in the day. You can take NOTHING by mouth 6 hours before, so you might as well pass that time sleeping, right?
2. Take 3 days off or plan nothing for prep day, procedure day and the day after. You will be given a light amnesiac and it takes a while to wear off. I knew an MD who went sailing right after his procedure and FORGOT how to get back where he launched from - true story. Use your post day to jump start a new healthier eating plan.
3. When buying prep items for your day of CLEAR liquids - go full fat, full flavor, full sodium. You are going to spend 24 hour with these choices - do not skimp on quality. If you can read a label through the bottle - it is a clear liquid. Alcoholic beverages are NOT on the clear liquid list.
4. Buy the most expensive baby wipes you can find and a pack of at least 50. Yes, really. You will thank me later. That cheapo toilet paper you buy is not going to look good after the tenth time it is used in a short time frame.
5. Ask a trusted friend to drive you to and from the appointment. They will need to be available for 3-4 hours, so make it someone you want to be indebted to. They may have to help you get dressed after the process, so take that into consideration as well. They will ALSO have ammo on you as you will be on drugs during the drive home and VERY HONEST AND OPEN. Choose wisely.
6. PREP DAY - Follow instructions to the letter. If something unfortunate happens, like you regurgitate all of one dose of meds - let the office know ASAP. You do not want to get there and have them end you home to chug a lug the prep AGAIN in 2 hours and return (I've done it -- twice.) Follow ALL instructions and drink ALL the prep - they will know if you didn't.
7. BE NICE TO THE nurse doing your IV. Seriously. I have uncooperative veins and I don't want to piss off the person who is going digging in my arm. You're dehydrated, cold, starving and tired from multiple trips to the bathroom last night. She has to literally deal with assholes all day. Treat the staff like your mom, since she was the last person to care for your back side so intently.
8. ENJOY THE BUBBLE SHOW AT THE BEGINNING... that's the last thing you will remember. When you wake up, know that EVERYONE around you is farting loudly and you will be too. That's a good thing, they want you to do it here to CLEAR THE LINES. Go for the gusto. The nurse may even press your belly if you are being too polite. Give in to the 12 yo boy in us all.
9. If the doctor reviews your procedure bedside, that is normal and nothing alarming was found. They take you and your +1 into an office after you are dressed, if it's something serious. But you will be on Fentanyl or some other anesthesia affecting your ability to process information. Best way to hear that you have cancer. I recommend it for all other kinds, but usually not an option.
10. Ask them to WRITE down any instructions, prescriptions, recommendations or follow up actions as well as when you should have your next scope. You will not remember. That's also why you have a sober buddy along.
Proceed cautiously when returning to solid food. It will take a few days for your system to produce solid waste and if overloaded with junk food, it may be unpleasant. Start with low residue foods - eggs, rice, fruits and cooked veggies. Introduce high fiber foods slowly.
I often hear - "It's so inconvenient", "It's gross", "It's just not something I want to do." So is colon cancer and of the two, I'd pick the scope prep. Seriously. It's one day and you know right away the outcome. Otherwise it's a shadow that follows you 24/7 for the rest of your life and could include such adventures like surgery, rounds of chemo or radiation, support groups and putting your family through hell. Suck it up, buttercup.
On the plus side, your pants will fit a bit looser. You'll feel unclogged and get the best NAP of your LIFE!
Early detection makes all the difference - don't be a butt head. Get the scope if your over 50. If there is family history subtract 5 years for each incident. My boys get to have them at 30, because I'm vigilant. We have a deal that I'll come stay with them for the prep and appt. and take them for any food they are craving when they wake up from their post-procedure nap. If you're scared - I'll take you. Shop for the care kit of clear liquids and supplies. Clean your bathroom post-procedure while you nap the rest of the day - that's the clincher for most folks right there. There has to be a market for that... the UberSuperPooperPackage.
Tuesday, May 21, 2019
Retirement at 51derful
The blog is back! After a long hiatus... and as I'm fully embracing Day 2 of retirement. Retired at 51?! Yes, because why wait until 70 to do all the things you plan to when by just scaling back your lifestyle, you could enjoy those things much earlier. At 70, I may not have the health or ability to enjoy those goals. But if I work on self-care now, I'll have a better chance of reaching others in the future.
Thankfully, we downsized late lat year and Dan is now able to work remotely 80% of the time while making the same income he did while commuting 2 hours several times a week to Bellevue. He's not only found time to accomplish work goals, but his surroundings and daily routine includes feeding ducks and birds. The guy is at peace when he's watching ducks eat, simple pleasures.
What am I going to do with myself? Well, my first two weeks have proven to be without any down time as we prep our former home for closing and are STILL clearing out stuff from the corners after 6 month of moving... wondering HOW did we EVER acquire so much STUFF?! And releasing all but that which is essential has been greatly empowering.
Books? We have a library a 5 minute walk away... poof! Gone.
Heirloom china setting for 12 that must be hand washed - donated to a boutique that benefits the homeless in our area -- poof! Gone.
Work attire - going to a women's shelter -- not yet poofed and gone...
Large home furniture - going to a resale shop that gives items to homeless families transitioning to new residences -- poof and gone date on schedule...
We have just what fits in 1/2 of our former square footage and are still purging as we go through a second reorganization this Spring. Less to find space for, clean and maintain means more space for doing... more will be poofing and going as we progress.
The second part is how will I spent my time? The only caveat of retiring that I agreed to was NOT to give all of my time away and become as stressed as I was previously with work. Upon reflection, I discovered we have 168 hours in a week. Half of which we are asleep - giving us 84 usable hours to divide between ideals. My ideals, values, driving forces are self care, family and community efforts. I plan to divide 21 hours a week between those 3 diversions. The last ten years have been spent working to invest in our sons' educational and career goals. They are at a point where they need to shoulder those with less parental involvement, but just as much parental support.
Self care was the first thing that my schedule compromised and the first thing given up when I got behind or lost track of tasks. The commitment to have us eat better and engage in exercise as a way of accomplishing errands as well as for exploring our new surroundings while meeting others in the same pursuits should bring peace and better sleep. We have a whole small lake to paddle and the mind just unrolls while on water. Jumping fish, swooping birds, diving ducks, turtles and frogs I have only heard but not yet seen. Sun warming my back and therapeutic, slow rhythmic movement of shoulder and arm joints should make for better overall flexibility, less reliance on ibuprofen, which in turn will improve chemical balances.
One goal is to spend more time with my parents before we have to shift into a caregiver role, just going to breakfast or lunch, short road trips, helping with housekeeping chores that are beyond their safe ability to handle alone and just spending time together so that when they need a role change to caregiver, we have stories to recall and memories to share as we do more unpleasant but necessary tasks for health and welfare.
Our nephews are preschool and school age, still in that magical window of wonder and amazement in the world's small miracles. And still easily amused with a bottle of bubbles, a popsicle, small trinket or magic trick. While their lives are still simple, I want to take time to play with them, share stories and adventures and discover city parks to get us needed Vitamin D3, fresh air, and embark on our quest to find the best ice cream in the area... for that I need cohorts. The Meeker bros did well in their time, the next generation needs to be honed on the selection of gooey creaminess and the skills of not melting before blissful consumption has ensued.
The greater community has so many worthy efforts for my time to address the societal issues that I need to change 'hands on' instead of by just posting complaints. Homelessness, educational time and budget shortfalls, parenting support, litter control, safety issues, senior citizen assistance -- just to name a few. I'll need to observe the work of several organizations before stepping in to help with those that align with my values and abilities without draining their volunteer resources into burnout.
If I can manage to balance 21 hours a week in these 3 areas, I hope to find better health in body, mind and spirit while engaging others to do the same.
21 hours - we can all find 21 hours to improve self, relationships status or surroundings.
What can be pruned to encourage more growth?
What will you find when you engage those 21 hours?
Thankfully, we downsized late lat year and Dan is now able to work remotely 80% of the time while making the same income he did while commuting 2 hours several times a week to Bellevue. He's not only found time to accomplish work goals, but his surroundings and daily routine includes feeding ducks and birds. The guy is at peace when he's watching ducks eat, simple pleasures.
What am I going to do with myself? Well, my first two weeks have proven to be without any down time as we prep our former home for closing and are STILL clearing out stuff from the corners after 6 month of moving... wondering HOW did we EVER acquire so much STUFF?! And releasing all but that which is essential has been greatly empowering.
Books? We have a library a 5 minute walk away... poof! Gone.
Heirloom china setting for 12 that must be hand washed - donated to a boutique that benefits the homeless in our area -- poof! Gone.
Work attire - going to a women's shelter -- not yet poofed and gone...
Large home furniture - going to a resale shop that gives items to homeless families transitioning to new residences -- poof and gone date on schedule...
We have just what fits in 1/2 of our former square footage and are still purging as we go through a second reorganization this Spring. Less to find space for, clean and maintain means more space for doing... more will be poofing and going as we progress.
The second part is how will I spent my time? The only caveat of retiring that I agreed to was NOT to give all of my time away and become as stressed as I was previously with work. Upon reflection, I discovered we have 168 hours in a week. Half of which we are asleep - giving us 84 usable hours to divide between ideals. My ideals, values, driving forces are self care, family and community efforts. I plan to divide 21 hours a week between those 3 diversions. The last ten years have been spent working to invest in our sons' educational and career goals. They are at a point where they need to shoulder those with less parental involvement, but just as much parental support.
Self care was the first thing that my schedule compromised and the first thing given up when I got behind or lost track of tasks. The commitment to have us eat better and engage in exercise as a way of accomplishing errands as well as for exploring our new surroundings while meeting others in the same pursuits should bring peace and better sleep. We have a whole small lake to paddle and the mind just unrolls while on water. Jumping fish, swooping birds, diving ducks, turtles and frogs I have only heard but not yet seen. Sun warming my back and therapeutic, slow rhythmic movement of shoulder and arm joints should make for better overall flexibility, less reliance on ibuprofen, which in turn will improve chemical balances.
One goal is to spend more time with my parents before we have to shift into a caregiver role, just going to breakfast or lunch, short road trips, helping with housekeeping chores that are beyond their safe ability to handle alone and just spending time together so that when they need a role change to caregiver, we have stories to recall and memories to share as we do more unpleasant but necessary tasks for health and welfare.
Our nephews are preschool and school age, still in that magical window of wonder and amazement in the world's small miracles. And still easily amused with a bottle of bubbles, a popsicle, small trinket or magic trick. While their lives are still simple, I want to take time to play with them, share stories and adventures and discover city parks to get us needed Vitamin D3, fresh air, and embark on our quest to find the best ice cream in the area... for that I need cohorts. The Meeker bros did well in their time, the next generation needs to be honed on the selection of gooey creaminess and the skills of not melting before blissful consumption has ensued.
The greater community has so many worthy efforts for my time to address the societal issues that I need to change 'hands on' instead of by just posting complaints. Homelessness, educational time and budget shortfalls, parenting support, litter control, safety issues, senior citizen assistance -- just to name a few. I'll need to observe the work of several organizations before stepping in to help with those that align with my values and abilities without draining their volunteer resources into burnout.
If I can manage to balance 21 hours a week in these 3 areas, I hope to find better health in body, mind and spirit while engaging others to do the same.
21 hours - we can all find 21 hours to improve self, relationships status or surroundings.
What can be pruned to encourage more growth?
What will you find when you engage those 21 hours?
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