Word of the Week - Freedom

Isn't it strange when one theme is repeatedly woven into your consciousness in unexpected ways?  This week it has happened with the word freedom.  This week we celebrate freedom from British tyranny.  In the sermon at church last Sunday - the essence of which boiled down to freedom being free ONLY when given away to others in service.  Then Monday in yoga class of all places  - the theme was repeated in describing the concept of Moksha - enlightenment through freedom, release or emancipation. As well as Dharma being the moral order of the universe and how it relates to Moksha.  But I digress...

How can we celebrate America's freedom and independence 

when a government policy exists that tears families apart 

as they attempt to follow the process to enter our borders 

resulting in parents and children being detained indefinitely 

in subhuman conditions?

Freedom isn't free unless all who desire it share in it.  I spent this afternoon in downtown Tacoma silently holding a sign that read "WE cannot celebrate Freedom and Independence while CHILDREN are in CAGES!!!"  The sign elicited comment from people of all walks of life, cultures, creeds, colors and only two negative comments I refuse to dwell on.  But I did find the grace to pray for the offenders. It garnered support from the many honks, thumbs up and nods I received, even from law enforcement personnel.

In grade school when I learned of the Nazi Germany history that included the concentration camps, I could not fathom that no one had the courage to stand up and stop it before 6,000 people died. Did no one reach out to the rest of the world?   I realize now that those who spoke out against the policy were most likely among the 6,000.  Until no one remained to speak out for fear of death.

It was at that time that marked on my very being that if I saw injustice, bullying and history begin to repeat itself, I would use my 1st Amendment freedoms to speak up, protest, resist and not give up until someone somewhere heard and registered that this was wrong.  I'm seeing it now and am not willing to let us go further down this path.

Can you imagine what this debacle will do to our foreign policy?
How are we ever going to repair these families we have now destroyed?
What is it costing us to keep these people detained in subhuman conditions?
Who or what corporations are profiting from it and can we boycott them?
What are the effects on the officers responsible for these detention centers?

WE have NO idea what the long-term effects of this stupid process will be - 

but I guarantee we will feel those effects 

long after this administration is gone.  

Hopefully 2020 will start the healing.

If you didn't vote in 2016, please commit to doing so in 2020.  If you voted for a third party just to keep from voting for the two main candidates, realize the numbers work against you.  
If you don't feel strongly enough for any one candidate, ally with the one candidate who can win against the opposition.  Someone with integrity, a plan, credibility, diplomacy and who will work with both parties to unite our country instead of destroying through ignorance and insults.

Work for freedom for all, PEACE, justice, care of creation and celebrate the cultures that make this country unique.  For someone to come here and face separation and incarceration, what worse horrors must they be fleeing?

Called to Action...

One of my favorite Eleanor Roosevelt quotes is, "Do one thing every day that scares you."  This week I found myself with a little extra time and an inexplicable compulsion to purchase poster making supplies.  Our church is preparing to participate in a local PRIDE event... but apparently that was not the reason for this.

Upon returning home, our internet connection was not operational.  I could however, access facebook on my cell phone.  The first post I saw alerted me to a protest occurring the next day within 30 minutes of my home at a time I had nothing planned.  If you believe in God winks, I was about to get a swift God kick in the backside.  This protest was about closing the family detention camps that our government is using to detain children in cages.  Oh. heck. yes.

I now had the location, the time, the materials and the means to participate.  Ever since I first heard of Nazi Germany in grade school I have been unable to fathom how people didn't provide enough opposition to obliterate this awful part of history.  I now understand that those who opposed usually joined the population IN the concentration camps until no one was left to protest and all protesters were silent to protect themselves and their own families.

But I have this elusive thing called white privilege and what better way to utilize it than to defend those unable to defend and speak out for themselves.  I went to the SeaTac detention center when all of this immigration, wall rhetoric and closing the border crap started.  AND WE'RE STILL PROTESTING this policy.

We had MONTHS of monitoring people forming a walking caravan to approach our border to escape horrendous conditions in their own countries.  And we couldn't come up with a better plan than separating families and holding children in cages?  With insufficient basic human necessities?  You think concentration camps made Nazi Germany look bad?  The US is going to have a hard time living down this atrocity.

2,363 children separated from their parents at the border. 
A portion have been deported. 
Some have chosen to stay and pursue citizenship without their parents.
Few have been reunited with their parents.
In WA, we have 167 detainees in the federal detention center.  Beds have been requested for up to 12 months.   There is no record of how many of these people are parents who have been separated from their children.

 
$145.19 per day to detain adults in Washington

https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2019/07/236724/help-migrant-children-at-border-crisis

Sassy Cat Adopts New Humans...

Being petless for over 5 years now, we started surfing Petfinder to determine a suitable pet for us.  With condo assn limitations,a dog would have to be under 30# and no more than 2 cats.  One of us wanted a dog; but not a purse pup. One wanted a cat with very stringent requirements - declawed (also known as special needs cat - exclusive indoors due to our mated pair of bald eagle neighbors), mellow demeanor, quiet meow voice (not a Siamese yowl), soft fur, small size and interesting markings.  Tall order for cats up for adoption and not all things one can adequately evaluate in a quick meet and greet. 
We had a few near misses. 
Mr. M wanted a pair of litter mates... two cats... I wasn't even sure about a single cat. 
One cat looked great on paper, but hid in the closet the entire time we visited. 
Another had a prohibitive "rehoming fee" of $350. 
And a third elicited no response from the owners.

One evening, I surfed Craig's List - which is undeniably the pet rehoming source of which nightmares are generated.  After passing a few listings, I stopped at one that seemed almost perfect - 9yo black and white cow spotted cat, nearby was being rehomed due to Grandma going to nursing home and kid being severely allergic when the family tried to take Grandma's cat in.  After a brief email exchange, we had an address and a visit appointment.  We were going to see if Sassy Gal would like to adopt us... since we KNEW it wouldn't really be our decision, but hers.

Just prior to leaving, I was preparing chicken to marinate and bake for dinner - in retrospect a good cat attractant of raw meat juices on my hands.  I should have dabbed a bit behind each ear for good measure.  We located the home and the cat was immediately curious about us.  Very soft coat, mellow demeanor and looked like a go.  We had PLANNED to come back on Sunday and get her as we had a large family gathering planned.  Not conducive for new cat acclimation...  But her owner wanted to have her out of the house before the kids returned from school - so we loaded up her food, litter box and carrier and had a yowling, peeing, stinky ride home... her, not me or Mr. M.

We arrived at home and she promptly hid under the first bed she encountered for almost 3 days... then moved to the next bedroom and did the same... we had fleeting glimpses of her during those days.  She found her box, food and water with no mishaps.  We left her with all her accoutrements in the large bedroom for the duration of the large gathering... that way I also didn't have to clean that room! 
The next morning she was out and exploring the rest of the house, expressing her satisfaction with tail held high, purring and half-slit eyes.  All good signs according to all of the cat body language research I had been feverishly completing online.  She has now laid claim to the rocking chair and top floor landing of the stairway as her domain.  Queen of all she surveys.

With each move to a new area, I would grab her by the scruff and start her orientation from the litter box so she could explore at her own pace orienting from her familiar materials.  At some point, she decided by the scruff grab that I must be the alpha cat and has addressed me as such. 
Note:  I'm NOT typically a cat person... we got a cat so Mr. M would have company while he works remotely.  Mr. M is jealous...
I'm getting the company at bedtime.
I'm getting the leg rubs.
I'm getting the lap time with purrs and I have yet to clean a litter box or feed her. 
Your cat; your duties is our agreement. 
I guess I need to grab more folks by the scruff of the neck and show them who's boss...

Rule of Life?

Developing My Rule of Life - Lenten 1.0 project
Lent is the 40 day period in the Church year where we reenact the time Jesus spent in the desert

by determining our own desert - or journey to navigate for 8 weeks until Easter to improve our
relationship with self, others and ultimately our Greater Being.
We used to give up something like candy or skydiving, but this year the challenge was to spend 9
weeks with a small group exploring a program called The Way of Love. One aspect of this program
was to develop a Rule of Life... a rule of life is a guideline, if you will, to make sure your life path aligns
with true values.

Let me just start by saying, I’m kind of a rebel by nature.  So rules in and of themselves don’t always
appeal to me. I need to know the how and why to comply with rules.  I’m newly retired and having just
broken the rigid structure of the work day in my life - I am definitely in need of some guidelines to keep
me on track.  

In the course of our move, I found a Rule of Life I composed around 2012, and it was LENGTHY. Many
of the goals and aspirations remained the same - to improve care of self, cultivate healthy relationships,
and positively affect those around me in community, while continuing to grow on the inside and reduce
growth on the outside. I hadn't made much progress in that direction, truthfully.

THIS time, it was important to me that I be able to recall my guidelines on one hand with no more than
FIVE words for each objective.

My Basics are these:

Turn - Pause and Self Check Daily

Learn - Carry Forward Day by Day (or other pocket devotional books)

Pray - Jesus in My Passenger Seat

Worship - Be Fully Present at Services

Bless - Praise the Positive

Go - Speak Act and Live with Integrity

Rest - Make and Take Time for ME

Are these always easy to recall?  Some more than others - if I get at least one daily, I’m doing better
than I was before.  Am I doing them all well and consistently, not always. But I get each new day to
start over, and God knows I’m trying, and my God is OK with best efforts.

TURN - Pause and self-check daily - Is what I’m doing right now on or off my chosen path?

Playing internet games? Binge watching TV shows?  NOPE

Enjoying nature?  Spending time with a friend? ABSOLUTELY

LEARN - Carry Forward Day by Day - to reflect on or pass on to others who need it more than I that
day.  I know where to get another copy.

When I have to wait - I have a positive action I can indulge in to make me more patient and find a
take-away for further reflection.

PRAY - Jesus in Your Passenger Seat - Our group turned me on to two new prayer concepts; putting
Jesus in the passenger seat to talk about life and Popcorn prayer. If someone pops into your mind,
pray for them.  It can’t hurt and might help even if you don’t know WHY they popped into your head.

WORSHIP - Be Fully Present at Service - Believe it or not, I have been known to compile my grocery
list during church and not get a THING out of the whole service.  You get out of it what you put into it.
By reframing my focus, I find worship much more enriching. Cell phone off - even for texts from the
boys.  It can wait an hour or so.

BLESS - Praise the Positive - I have a hard time evangelizing and spreading the Word to others.  
I do much better to help people see their own good, and I’m trying to focus on the positive in the
world - some days it IS a real challenge. I recently called a friend brave for what she saw as a small
action.  She responded to that positive energy right away, it was enlightening.

GO - Speak Act and Live with Integrity - Don’t speak, act or live in ways that do not enrich my life
experience or the life experience of others.  Integrity is one of my favorite words as it encompasses the
goal for each day - DO what is really meaningful.

REST - Make Time for ME - In the safety talk on airplanes, remember the line “Adjust your oxygen
mask before assisting others?” That is great advice for life, too.  You cannot care for others when
depleted, burnt out, tired, hungry, irritable or impatient. Learning to say NO to some commitments and
keep your self-care time sacred is a hard lesson for most women, and men as well.  The housekeeping
and errands will wait while you take a short nap, get a haircut, take a yoga class or exercise.

These are not yet automatic.  They ARE on a 3x5 card in my wallet.  Some day they may BECOME
automatic, but I’m not on a race, I’m on a faith journey.

10 Things No One Tells you about Colonoscopies

Since 2008, I've had no less than a dozen colonoscopies.  The first one found stage 1 cancer and that is the protocol for such discoveries. Often, colon cancer gives very subtle symptoms. But also my siblings, spouse, parents and 48 other friends had colonoscopies they had been avoiding that year. 

I became known as the butt buddy - the required ride to and from the procedure.  The Q & A person for all things associated with the prep process.  Some of my best recommends are shared below.  Some are practical, some are vaguely amusing and some are downright brilliant.

1.   Schedule your procedure as early as possible in the day.  You can take NOTHING by mouth 6 hours before, so you might as well pass that time sleeping, right?

2.  Take 3 days off or plan nothing for prep day, procedure day and the day after.  You will be given a light amnesiac and it takes a while to wear off.  I knew an MD who went sailing right after his procedure and FORGOT how to get back where he launched from - true story.  Use your post day to jump start a new healthier eating plan.

3.  When buying prep items for your day of CLEAR liquids - go full fat, full flavor, full sodium.  You are going to spend 24 hour with these choices - do not skimp on quality.  If you can read a label through the bottle - it is a clear liquid.  Alcoholic beverages are NOT on the clear liquid list.

4.  Buy the most expensive baby wipes you can find and a pack of at least 50.  Yes, really.  You will thank me later.  That cheapo toilet paper you buy is not going to look good after the tenth time it is used in a short time frame.

5.  Ask a trusted friend to drive you to and from the appointment.  They will need to be available for 3-4 hours, so make it someone you want to be indebted to.  They may have to help you get dressed after the process, so take that into consideration as well.  They will ALSO have ammo on you as you will be on drugs during the drive home and VERY HONEST AND OPEN.  Choose wisely.

6. PREP DAY - Follow instructions to the letter.  If something unfortunate happens, like you regurgitate all of one dose of meds - let the office know ASAP.  You do not want to get there and have them end you home to chug a lug the prep AGAIN in 2 hours and return (I've done it -- twice.)  Follow ALL instructions and drink ALL the prep - they will know if you didn't. 

7.   BE NICE TO THE nurse doing your IV.  Seriously.  I have uncooperative veins and I don't want to piss off the person who is going digging in my arm. You're dehydrated, cold, starving and tired from multiple trips to the bathroom last night.  She has to literally deal with assholes all day.  Treat the staff like your mom, since she was the last person to care for your back side so intently.

8.  ENJOY THE BUBBLE SHOW AT THE BEGINNING... that's the last thing you will remember.  When you wake up, know that EVERYONE around you is farting loudly and you will be too.  That's a good thing, they want you to do it here to CLEAR THE LINES.  Go for the gusto.  The nurse may even press your belly if you are being too polite.  Give in to the 12 yo boy in us all.

9.  If the doctor reviews your procedure bedside, that is normal and nothing alarming was found.  They take you and your +1 into an office after you are dressed, if it's something serious.  But you will be on Fentanyl or some other anesthesia affecting your ability to process information.   Best way to hear that you have cancer.  I recommend it for all other kinds, but usually not an option.

10.  Ask them to WRITE down any instructions, prescriptions, recommendations or follow up actions as well as when you should have your next scope.  You will not remember.  That's also why you have a sober buddy along.

Proceed cautiously when returning to solid food.  It will take a few days for your system to produce solid waste and if overloaded with junk food, it may be unpleasant.  Start with low residue foods - eggs, rice, fruits and cooked veggies.  Introduce high fiber foods slowly. 

I often hear - "It's so inconvenient", "It's gross", "It's just not something I want to do."  So is colon cancer and of the two, I'd pick the scope prep.  Seriously.  It's one day and you know right away the outcome.  Otherwise it's a shadow that follows you 24/7 for the rest of your life and could include such adventures like surgery, rounds of chemo or radiation, support groups and putting your family through hell.  Suck it up, buttercup.

On the plus side, your pants will fit a bit looser.  You'll feel unclogged and get the best NAP of your LIFE!

The only down side of the butt buddy year is that one pal my age, Kelly - one of those who had been avoiding it -- and discovered stage 4 tumors in her colon, and metastasized tumors in her liver and lungs.  My oncologist told me "It's not often the first cancer that kills people, but if it involves 3 or more organs... So don't ignore any further symptoms from here on out."  She texted me with lots of questions during her prep.  She had been ignoring symptoms for years.  We stayed in denial until her diagnosis was confirmed.  I didn't share what I knew with her at that point.  She lived 8 months and left life on her own terms. 

Early detection makes all the difference - don't be a butt head.  Get the scope if your over 50.  If there is family history subtract 5 years for each incident.  My boys get to have them at 30, because I'm vigilant.  We have a deal that I'll come stay with them for the prep and appt.  and take them for any food they are craving when they wake up from their post-procedure nap.  If you're scared - I'll take you.  Shop for the care kit of clear liquids and supplies.  Clean your bathroom post-procedure while you nap the rest of the day - that's the clincher for most folks right there.  There has to be a market for that... the UberSuperPooperPackage.

Retirement at 51derful

The blog is back!  After a long hiatus... and as I'm fully embracing Day 2 of retirement.  Retired at 51?!  Yes, because why wait until 70 to do all the things you plan to when by just scaling back your lifestyle, you could enjoy those things much earlier.  At 70, I may not have the health or ability to enjoy those goals.  But if I work on self-care now, I'll have a better chance of reaching others in the future.

Thankfully, we downsized late lat year and Dan is now able to work remotely 80% of the time while making the same income he did while commuting 2 hours several times a week to Bellevue.  He's not only found time to accomplish work goals, but his surroundings and daily routine includes feeding ducks and birds.  The guy is at peace when he's watching ducks eat, simple pleasures. 

What am I going to do with myself?  Well, my first two weeks have proven to be without any down time as we prep our former home for closing and are STILL clearing out stuff from the corners after 6 month of moving... wondering HOW did we EVER acquire so much STUFF?!  And releasing all but that which is essential has been greatly empowering. 
Books?  We have a library a 5 minute walk away... poof! Gone.
Heirloom china setting for 12 that must be hand washed - donated to a boutique that benefits the homeless in our area -- poof! Gone.
Work attire - going to a women's shelter -- not yet poofed and gone...
Large home furniture - going to a resale shop that gives items to homeless families transitioning to new residences -- poof and gone date on schedule...
We have just what fits in 1/2 of our former square footage and are still purging as we go through a second reorganization this Spring.  Less to find space for, clean and maintain means more space for doing... more will be poofing and going as we progress.

The second part is how will I spent my time?  The only caveat of retiring that I agreed to was NOT to give all of my time away and become as stressed as I was previously with work.  Upon reflection, I discovered we have 168 hours in a week. Half of which we are asleep - giving us 84 usable hours to divide between ideals. My ideals, values, driving forces are self care, family and community efforts.  I plan to divide 21 hours a week between those 3 diversions.  The last ten years have been spent working to invest in our sons' educational and career goals.  They are at a point where they need to shoulder those with less parental involvement, but just as much parental support.

Self care was the first thing that my schedule compromised and the first thing given up when I got behind or lost track of tasks.  The commitment to have us eat better and engage in exercise as a way of accomplishing errands as well as for exploring our new surroundings while meeting others in the same pursuits should bring peace and better sleep.  We have a whole small lake to paddle and the mind just unrolls while on water.  Jumping fish, swooping birds, diving ducks, turtles and frogs I have only heard but not yet seen.  Sun warming my back and therapeutic, slow rhythmic movement of shoulder and arm joints should make for better overall flexibility, less reliance on ibuprofen, which in turn will improve chemical balances.

One goal is to spend more time with my parents before we have to shift into a caregiver role, just going to breakfast or lunch, short road trips, helping with housekeeping chores that are beyond their safe ability to handle alone and just spending time together so that when they need a role change to caregiver, we have stories to recall and memories to share as we do more unpleasant but necessary tasks for health and welfare.

Our nephews are preschool and school age, still in that magical window of wonder and amazement in the world's small miracles.  And still easily amused with a bottle of bubbles, a popsicle, small trinket or magic trick.  While their lives are still simple, I want to take time to play with them, share stories and adventures and discover city parks to get us needed Vitamin D3, fresh air, and embark on our quest to find the best ice cream in the area... for that I need cohorts.  The Meeker bros did well in their time, the next generation needs to be honed on the selection of gooey creaminess and the skills of not melting before blissful consumption has ensued.

The greater community has so many worthy efforts for my time to address the societal issues that I need to change 'hands on' instead of by just posting complaints.  Homelessness, educational time and budget shortfalls, parenting support, litter control, safety issues, senior citizen assistance -- just to name a few.  I'll need to observe the work of several organizations before stepping in to help with those that align with my values and abilities without draining their volunteer resources into burnout.

If I can manage to balance 21 hours a week in these 3 areas, I hope to find better health in body, mind and spirit while engaging others to do the same. 
21 hours - we can all find 21 hours to improve self, relationships status or surroundings. 
What can be pruned to encourage more growth? 
What will you find when you engage those 21 hours? 

The Lessons We DON'T Choose Teach Volumes

Why does it always seem to be that the lessons we don’t choose to undertake teach us the most about ourselves and those around us?  Currently overtaxed at work, discovered a coworker is restarting the sobriety journey.  Against advice, better judgment and with the unconditional support of my immediate family – we have adopted her temporarily into our home and family to navigate the path.  It is fitting to be happening during the Lenten season – 40 days to the hope and joy of Easter.  If we can just get 3 days of sobriety at a stretch, we may build to further successes. Keep us all in prayer every step of the way.