Full vs Fulfillment

'Food fills you, but it is not intended to fulfill you.’  It was a challenge this week to find ten activities, or things that fulfill me, instead of using food to fill the void.  It was harder than one would think.  There are the obvious ones – hanging out with friends, going for a walk, engaging in exercise, but I managed to find some really obscure ones.  It had to be something low or no cost, so while a trip to Tahiti, massage and spa getaway would fit the bill, would it give you lasting enjoyment after the activity was completed?  And, yes, I did put THAT activity on my list, too.  Sometimes it does.  Just sayin’.

Blowing bubbles, riding on a swing, petting a dog, waving at small children, making a phone call to catch up with a pal instead of a text, reading an intriguing book, coloring with crayons, cleaning out a drawer or cabinet, engaging in crafts, window shopping (which never stops at the window in my life, so needed to be eliminated), spending time at the beach, flying a kite, molding with clay, bead work, decorative painting or wandering through a farmer’s market.  You notice the things not on this list – house cleaning, toilet scrubbing, mowing the lawn, laundry.  And we wonder why after the flurry of necessary activities we have the urge to fill the void/reward ourselves with a less than healthy snack choice.

Refilling the vessel has been a common theme with church women’s groups over the years.  We do so much for others and keep no reserve so that when more is expected we just keep pouring out.  To the point of burning out, requiring anxiety and antidepressants to maintain the equilibrium required to maintain the pace.  When given the opportunity to unwind, rest, rejuvenate and do something strictly for our own enjoyment, it can take half the time available just to determine what that might BE! And 9 times out of 10 it turns out to be a task on our ever growing list.

It should come as no surprise that the feeling of guilt when indulging in this way is universal.  Women from 30-80 echo the same feelings of “should’s, ought’s and need to’s” that we all carry as unnecessary baggage.  Is it any wonder that many of us quiet these feelings and the accompanying feelings of inadequacy with comfort foods?  I’m sorry a carrot just doesn’t give the same vibe as a box of Oreos and a glass of milk, but I digress.  We all know that we need to eat better and exercise, but that is the first thing to go off the schedule when the path goes awry.  Self-care needs to be our first order of business, not the last resort when we’re at wits end – see “secure your own oxygen mask before assisting others…”

Once we’re past 80, the filters come off and if something’s going to kill me I’m going to enjoy all the pleasures of life getting there.  Finding fulfillment in our lives without relying on unhealthy habits is a real challenge. Remembering the things that truly make our souls sing and keeping them top of mind to reach for when we are longing for fulfillment is a much more enriching exercise than wallowing in guilt or tight pants.  Raising a carrot or an apple to our improved physical and mental health.