Writing the blog early this week because Thursday night will be spent on a cozy couch in a house by the beach soaking up cocktails, conversation and comfort with some pals celebrating 49 trips around the sun. Reprising the slumber parties of youth in a better locale and with more mature libations and snacks, if you will.
Decided to fully embrace the 49 instead of fighting it. Goal for the last three years has been to improve overall health and wellness to be better at 50 than at 45. And now the rubber hits the road... because not much progress has occurred at this point. Plan to stick to three tenets of wellness.
1 - Practice saying NO when saying YES would compromise time, energy or stress level.
Which means WHEN I say YES, and brings me to
2 - Fully embrace the YES opportunities - be fully present and mindfully participating in the full experience. Mainly undisturbed by small screen use or other disruptive diversions and,
3 - Retain the option to change my mind. No is more easily changed to Yes than Yes is changed to No.
Among the few things learned in 49 travels round the sun is that at the end of life people don't care what they have acquired, but retain the experiences, the relationships and the legacy they leave for others. The impact made in our brief time as a star in the universe before our light fades. No one is going to care about our net worth. Everyone is going to care about how you made them feel when you spent time together. Make an impression in the life of a child, or ten, or twenty, or a thousand. Your self-worth will grow exponentially. Start with just waving at a child in the car next to you. The smile earned as a reward will buoy the spirit often during the day, recalling its glow.
Stop and truly listen to an elderly person. Compliment them on an aspect of their or ask the story of a piece of jewelry. Memories of long ago cause a release of mood elevating chemicals which can be beneficial to the heart, mind and spirit of the elderly. And having just one person interact in an otherwise very long and lonely day can have lasting effects.
The more you can do, the more you can; DO. When sedentary most of the day, every effort to move causes pain and stiffness takes a while to shake off. When in consistent motion, it is easier to keep walking to witness natural beauty, or follow the sound of a bird call, or look for a treasure in a garden, on a beach or a new bloom. People we serve in home health have to struggle just to leave the confines of their homes and engage in the world. Engage in the world, bring back common courtesy and manners.
Why does someone have to be declared the winner in last night's debate? The purpose of debate is to hear what the opposing candidates stand for and what their positions are on a variety of subjects. Apparently, they stand for interruptions and half-truths. This political climate of conflict and discord is flowing into everyday life. Courtesies are not so common. Care for the greater good is giving way to only caring for oneself. Inclining to vote for the candidate that will do the least damage. Not a great choice.
Favorite words of mine are opportunity, destiny and gratitude. Without one, the others do not exist. Think about it. Any opportunity can bring you to destiny for which to express gratitude. What are your three favorite words and what do they say about you? My wish when blowing out the candles is... a whole nother story...
Tuesday, September 27, 2016
Friday, September 23, 2016
Too Many Irons in the Fire... What's one more?
So this weekend started much like any other, with a full laundry list of what needed to be done and a list of assignments. Outside of the cooking, cleaning and controlling static - we have a back fence to replace. Several tasks connected to a retreat planed for next month including several time-consuming crafty endeavors - mine. An excursion to the local university with several pals from high school for our son, and we were all to rendezvous at 1600 to determine dinner plans.
The team for the fence demo and reconstruction -- Mr. M and our neighbor who works at this sort of task as his vocation -- presumed to think that they would have this task done and in the bag in a half day. The fence panels were removed and when the fence posts were examined, they were found to be set in a 2x2 block of cement counter sunk into the bulkhead. Trip to the hardware store for more tools, more parts and finally a jack hammer. Four hours later, two fence posts removed and replaced. Progress limited due to lack of daylight.
Kid goes to large area university for some social engagement. While walking on campus, he tried to retrieve two empty water bottles from a large, deep fountain. In the process lost his car key electronic fob and phone charger. With no long means to retrieve the keys, he texts mom for suggestions - no answer. Calls dad - who is busy demoing fence - no answer. He and a maintenance worker devise a tool of MacGyver inspiration and manage to retrieve the keys but not the charger. They took his name to return it when they drain the fountain every other year...
Errand list was short to begin with for mom; but was finally completed at 9pm with a grocery run. After morning meeting, pal breakfast, manicure/pedicure appointment and 4 more errands. Culminating in a gift run to jewelry store. While there, I asked to have my wedding ring cleaned. Upon inspection, the diamond was found to be chipped in 2-3 places and two prongs damaged. The warranty expired, and diamond would need to be replaced, before the prong could be repaired. And what is the cost for that? Minorly unreasonable, cost to upgrade from 1/4 to 1/3 carat diamond? Just $72 more. Go big or go home.
Back home to the next task of reassembling broken clay pots to illustrate a talk addressing retreat attendees. It seemed like such a brilliant idea in theory. The reality of gluing broken pots is that one piece at a time has to be held in place and dry overnight. Three days later, three pots are completed.
Helping move tools and supplies inside from the fence project for the night with the ready assistance of the neighbors 80# dog barking at our heels. It seems that more soda and beer was consumed than fence was constructed, but I digress.
A glance in the fridge reveals that there are slim pickings and a grocery run is in order. The brain power to compile a grocery list and complete the trip was assisted by the teen son or would not have happened. We made a deal to put away only the fridge and freezer items and let the rest hold until the morning. Dinner was a haphazard plan of grazing, take out and snacks. But we're all still standing, with no lasting injuries and a plan of attack for Sunday... as long as we break at 1:00pm for Seahawks football.
The team for the fence demo and reconstruction -- Mr. M and our neighbor who works at this sort of task as his vocation -- presumed to think that they would have this task done and in the bag in a half day. The fence panels were removed and when the fence posts were examined, they were found to be set in a 2x2 block of cement counter sunk into the bulkhead. Trip to the hardware store for more tools, more parts and finally a jack hammer. Four hours later, two fence posts removed and replaced. Progress limited due to lack of daylight.
Kid goes to large area university for some social engagement. While walking on campus, he tried to retrieve two empty water bottles from a large, deep fountain. In the process lost his car key electronic fob and phone charger. With no long means to retrieve the keys, he texts mom for suggestions - no answer. Calls dad - who is busy demoing fence - no answer. He and a maintenance worker devise a tool of MacGyver inspiration and manage to retrieve the keys but not the charger. They took his name to return it when they drain the fountain every other year...
Errand list was short to begin with for mom; but was finally completed at 9pm with a grocery run. After morning meeting, pal breakfast, manicure/pedicure appointment and 4 more errands. Culminating in a gift run to jewelry store. While there, I asked to have my wedding ring cleaned. Upon inspection, the diamond was found to be chipped in 2-3 places and two prongs damaged. The warranty expired, and diamond would need to be replaced, before the prong could be repaired. And what is the cost for that? Minorly unreasonable, cost to upgrade from 1/4 to 1/3 carat diamond? Just $72 more. Go big or go home.
Back home to the next task of reassembling broken clay pots to illustrate a talk addressing retreat attendees. It seemed like such a brilliant idea in theory. The reality of gluing broken pots is that one piece at a time has to be held in place and dry overnight. Three days later, three pots are completed.
Helping move tools and supplies inside from the fence project for the night with the ready assistance of the neighbors 80# dog barking at our heels. It seems that more soda and beer was consumed than fence was constructed, but I digress.
A glance in the fridge reveals that there are slim pickings and a grocery run is in order. The brain power to compile a grocery list and complete the trip was assisted by the teen son or would not have happened. We made a deal to put away only the fridge and freezer items and let the rest hold until the morning. Dinner was a haphazard plan of grazing, take out and snacks. But we're all still standing, with no lasting injuries and a plan of attack for Sunday... as long as we break at 1:00pm for Seahawks football.
Thursday, September 15, 2016
MENstrual Cramping Our Style
Have you read the text thread between a mom and her 13yo daughter about trying to locate
feminine products aisle in a large superstore at midnight?
Ever been there? I know I
have. Under PMS brain, usually
accompanied by a raging headache and cramps, you are out in public in the
darkest, baggiest pants you own wandering the aisles looking for something to
staunch the flow.
You look in the diaper
section, near the Depends, in the lube and condom aisle, by the pregnancy
tests, in the toilet paper and facial tissue aisle – only to find them with the
shampoo or among the baby food. In a store with any sense of logic, it would be chocolate, ice
cream, pain relievers, and feminine hygiene products THEN pregnancy tests. Because if you all of the sudden realize you
haven’t needed the first half of the aisle in a fair bit of time, the second half is the logical
next step.
The condoms and lube should
be at the very end of that aisle, so that men get over their hang-ups and acclimate to the concept of one day purchasing feminine hygiene
products for a woman they love, so that she can remain in the comfort of home
suffering from her menstrual sentence. If they know what's good for them, they should also bring a trashy magazine and something from the PMS food group - chocolate. This would serve to remind them that even if they are getting lucky now, in a few weeks they need to pay tribute. Why do men even have a place in THAT word - menstrual? If we lived in a matriarchal society, it
would be named something positive and grand like biological cleansing,
womenstruation or life flow.
The banter and militant feminism exhibited in the text
reminded me of some interesting anecdotes from my past. When my mom realized I was dabbling in
premarital sex (with the only guy I’ve been with in 30 years, I might add…) she
marched me down to the local drug store’s pregnancy prevention display and
proceeded to explain each and every products use and mechanics so I could
make an informed decision to prevent an unwanted development until I was ready
to support children. She didn’t seem to
notice that an elderly gentleman in the aisle with us seemed to be getting his
jollies while listening to her educational speech on spermicides and sponges. Ten
years later, when I had a 2.5 year old and she saw a pregnancy test in my
grocery bags, the stunned glance from the toddler to my abdomen spoke
volumes. But that's a whole nother story...
With an 8 year span between my sister and me, I was in my early 20 and dating the man
I eventually married. We went grocery shopping with my sister, then in her
teens. Not only did my boyfriend walk
down the feminine product aisle, he noticed that my preferred brand was on sale
and picked up two boxes. My sister could
have fainted. Our dad refused to walk
down that aisle of the store for years and would always send one of us to
retrieve “the lady products” when KOTEX appeared on the grocery list. This became the litmus test for her own
boyfriends and potential spouses.
After 2-3 years of throwing away pants, panties and taking
towels with me in the car and to visit others homes due to hemorrhagic cycles,
I had an endometrial ablation. And
WELCOME to menopause… you can wear white pants, but you’re going to sweat
through them… not all the cause for
celebration one would think. Between the
night sweats, the hot flashes, weight gain, skin issues and mood swings; if
your white pants still fit after all that, wear the F*** out of them.
Our boys were very young when my system stopped requiring “monthly
lube and oil changes”. They thought tampons were fun to launch through the
house. We used them on occasion for nose
bleeds in karate tournaments. Maxi pads were kept in our Cub Scout first aid
kit to staunch the flow in the event of a severed artery. But for the most part, their experience with
feminine products was a thing of the distant past. Then the puberty talks in junior high reared
the ugly subject again. “Mom, why don’t
we have tampons or maxi pads in our house?”
“I don’t need them anymore. I
keep 3 in the bathroom cabinet in case your guests need any. Can I show you where?” Once they knew that they were for female
guests and were no longer play things, the discussion stopped. They were just getting bombarded by the puberty
subject – menopause was something way beyond their security level.
When we shop in drug stores, my sons’ comments, “How do you
choose from the plethora of options in the fem hygiene aisle? A whole wall!
It looks overwhelming.” It
is. There is a video that gives men the
opportunity to experience an “overflow day” and their sense of empathy is much
different after having that experience.
They are far more compassionate and grateful that their anatomy doesn’t
just inexplicably bleed for any length of time.
If men had periods, they’d be called something fantabulous. Art would abound glorifying its power. They would compare volume, color, stench and
saturation rates. It would become a competitive sport more than likely.
In a matriarchal society, red would be a badge of
courage. Red would be powerful. Red would be a symbol of fertility, maturity
and a force to be reckoned with. It
wouldn’t be a taboo, an embarrassment, hidden, spoken of in whispers and
euphemisms. Embrace the power. You might as well have a handful of Oreos, a
dose of ibuprofen and a soda, while you are at it. Won’t menopause be great?
Link to the text thread I mentioned in opening:
http://www.refinery29.com/2016/09/123057/mom-daughter-tampon-shopping-text-messages
Friday, September 9, 2016
REAL live whirlygigs!
This week has been uncharacteristically chaotic and I've decided to suspend writing until I can focus after a week or two... So, I give you a weekly whirlygig video to peruse. It transfixed and relaxed me. Hoping it will do the same for you. At some point, I need to film my two favorite local Federal Way kinetic sculptures and post them here. Enjoy and be filled with childish wonder...
Friday, September 2, 2016
All That It's Cracked Up to Be
In researching a talk subject on brokenness and wholeness. Without giving away the whole gig, I've settled on the concept of broken pottery and how ultimately useful it is to upcycle. It can be utilized in arts and mosaic creations. A broken vase can become a bowl or plate, house a fairy garden or plant. With a candle inside it becomes a whimsical path light. In ancient times, a broken water jug was repurposed as cookware and serving platters. Pottery is virtually indestructible and lasts for decades, even found intact long after the civilizations that created it have long perished.
Aren't all of us broken in one way or another - mentally, emotionally or spiritually?
Are we as aware of the times we excel and function well we are when we are lacking?
Or is it that we spend so much time being down on ourselves it's hard to recognize?
Why do we feel weak when we need medication to feel less broken?
Why is it a liability to be a work in progress?
Why do we judge ourselves and others for not meeting our expectations?
A story that beautifully illustrates the value of cracked pots:
A water bearer in India had two large pots hanging at the ends of a pole that he carried across his neck. One of the pots was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master's house. The other pot had a crack in it, and by the time it reached its destination, it was only half full. Every day for two years the water bearer delivered only one and one-half pots of water to the master's house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments—perfect to the end for which it was made. The poor little cracked pot was ashamed of its imperfections and miserable that it could accomplish only half of what it had been designed to do. After two years of what the imperfect pot perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer and said, "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you."
"Why?" asked the bearer, "What are you ashamed of?"
"Well, for these past two years, I have been able to deliver only half a load of water each day because this crack in my side allows water to leak out all the way back to the master's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all this work without getting the full value of your efforts," the pot said.
The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path." Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot noticed the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because half of its load had leaked out once again.
Then the bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path and not on the other pot's side? That's because I've always known about your flaw and took advantage of it by planting flower seeds on your side of the path. Every day as we walked back from the stream, you watered those seeds, and for two years I have picked these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table. Without you being just what you are, he would not have had this beauty to grace his house." - from Joyce Meyer's page, see below.
How often do we see only our shortcomings and failures rather than witness to the light and guidance we provide for others? I think it lends credibility and approach-ability to others not to have it all together 100% of the time. Imperfect people are more comfortable to interact with and their advice holds up under the pressure of day to day life.
By the way, if you have a broken pot, bowl or vase I could use as a visual aid especially if it will let light diffuse through the cracks, let me know. Might have to break some ceramics in the near future.
For another viewpoint on this subject:
http://www.joycemeyer.org/Articles/ea.aspx?article=doing_your_best_with_what_you_have
Aren't all of us broken in one way or another - mentally, emotionally or spiritually?
Are we as aware of the times we excel and function well we are when we are lacking?
Or is it that we spend so much time being down on ourselves it's hard to recognize?
Why do we feel weak when we need medication to feel less broken?
Why is it a liability to be a work in progress?
Why do we judge ourselves and others for not meeting our expectations?
A story that beautifully illustrates the value of cracked pots:
A water bearer in India had two large pots hanging at the ends of a pole that he carried across his neck. One of the pots was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master's house. The other pot had a crack in it, and by the time it reached its destination, it was only half full. Every day for two years the water bearer delivered only one and one-half pots of water to the master's house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments—perfect to the end for which it was made. The poor little cracked pot was ashamed of its imperfections and miserable that it could accomplish only half of what it had been designed to do. After two years of what the imperfect pot perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer and said, "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you."
"Why?" asked the bearer, "What are you ashamed of?"
"Well, for these past two years, I have been able to deliver only half a load of water each day because this crack in my side allows water to leak out all the way back to the master's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all this work without getting the full value of your efforts," the pot said.
The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path." Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot noticed the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because half of its load had leaked out once again.
Then the bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path and not on the other pot's side? That's because I've always known about your flaw and took advantage of it by planting flower seeds on your side of the path. Every day as we walked back from the stream, you watered those seeds, and for two years I have picked these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table. Without you being just what you are, he would not have had this beauty to grace his house." - from Joyce Meyer's page, see below.
How often do we see only our shortcomings and failures rather than witness to the light and guidance we provide for others? I think it lends credibility and approach-ability to others not to have it all together 100% of the time. Imperfect people are more comfortable to interact with and their advice holds up under the pressure of day to day life.
By the way, if you have a broken pot, bowl or vase I could use as a visual aid especially if it will let light diffuse through the cracks, let me know. Might have to break some ceramics in the near future.
For another viewpoint on this subject:
http://www.joycemeyer.org/Articles/ea.aspx?article=doing_your_best_with_what_you_have
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